Monthly goals

I made my two fitness goals this month: Cycle 100 km, and run 50 km. (Total, over the month).
Strava tells me I've biked 176 km, and run 51 so far. Hooray! Will see if I can keep up next month. I was pleased that the hardest part was making the time, not the fitness required. But it's going to be harder to make the time now that the weather is getting dodgier, bike commuting seems more questionable, and late night runs require more planning. But, it's nice to maintain a (comparatively) high level of fitness, so that when it is nice out, I can easily go for long hikes without killing myself.

One of my other goals for the month was job hunt related. It's definitely time in the process where I need to be putting out regular application, but I'm still... unsure what I'm looking for.

I made myself go to a networking meeting for people who are arguable in my instructional design field. And I hated it! We had nothing in common, I found them difficult to communicate with, and it was a nightmare to try and imagine myself as some self serving middle manager, fretting first and foremost over "personal branding" and leadership coaching. (Especially as it became clear that no one was in perfect agreement about what those things meant.) I might be too objective for this career path.

But, rather than write another "Woe is the perennial job hunter," I'm doing something about it. One of my coworkers used to work as a career coach, and currently supervises a team of people who help students find jobs. She agreed to work with me (for super cheap!) because she wants to do more career development stuff, and I need help! She is a very positive person, and because we work together, she has a better sense of my capabilities than if I tried to explain this to someone in a one hour session. Step one is describing some positive previous work experiences, and describing my dreams for my next job. It's amazing to me how little detail I have in the dream, but we are just starting the process. I've also been sending really nosy emails to people on campus, so hopefully I can rustle up some interesting opportunities for myself. Today I realized I have 14 weeks left in my contract, and will have 7 weeks of vacation/holiday/sick leave to expend, so now is a good time to get serious about What Next.

I know other family members are thinking about career moves, so I'll let you know how this coaching works out.

Telling some Stories

Casey likes to talk now.  It's not babble, which is when your baby starts mimicking the sounds of language.  This is some sort of pre-babble, where she just looks at you right in your face and sticks out her tongue and raspberries you.  Then you raspberry back.  Then she repeats.  This can last up to an hour. Then it transitions to happy shrieking.

Today, I was putting Tyler to sleep.  He grabbed my arm, rolled over and just said.  "Stay, Daddy."  It's been a while since he's done that.

Casey can keep her head up really well now, as well as roll from her front to her back.  We're working on sitting up, but there are two problems.  One is that whenever she gets excited, she likes to straighten out her body.  This means she flings herself onto her back without warning.  The other is that whenever she sits, she kinda leans forward, and forward, and forward, until she's essentially eating her toes.  Then she rolls to her side and then is right back on her back again.  It might be intentional.

I'm running infrequently, but being able to run at all with the kids in the house is a pretty big accomplishment.  Casey sleeps really well, though she can occasionally be hard to put down.  We've taken to cutting off her naps at 4:00, or sometimes earlier.  It means she gets a little loopy in the late afternoon, but she usually perks up when you nibble on her fingers.  Anyway, my 3 mile time is still roughly 45 minutes, which isn't good, but it's faster than when I'm sitting down.  And if the calorie counter is to be believed, it burns a lot of fuel.  (I'm not convinced it is to be fully believed.)

Fran was here last month, and Mom and (eventually) Dad are here this month.  We're going to go to a photo studio and get adorable pictures of everyone taken.  And then we aren't going to share those pictures at all.  We're just going to hoard them and look at them in dark corners where no one else can see.  This is a joke, of course.  Watch out for Christmas presents.

Tyler took some swim classes.  We're not trying to turn him into an Olympian, we just want him to feel comfortable (and safe) around a pool.  He started out pretty nervous, but got better at each class.  By a few times in, he was excited to go.  He's a decent swimmer now, he just keeps popping his head up instead of forward, and when you tell him to jump in the pool, he sits down, turns around, and shuffles in backwards.  Not a bad reflex.

It was my birthday last week!  I got to make a yellow cake.  It was really good, despite the fact that Jessie thought it was dry but who cares about her opinion anyway.  I haven't had any Ice Cream yet.  I'm saving that for later.  I don't eat ice cream as a matter of responsibility now.  Not eating ice cream reminds me that I'm being careful about what I eat.  The last time I had any was during my birthday last year.  I figure once a year is pretty responsible, I'm just going to reserve that splurge for another time.

I still hover around between 202 and 205 on the scale, with 199 always hovering just out of reach.  I'm really hungry, though.

If something big and dramatic happens, I'll try and let you know.

-N

Short sweet nothings

Another round of vignettes from our life.

The third of 4 weddings was over the weekend. We got to show up early, help with the set-up and generally goof off with the groom's part of the wedding party. It was a beautiful spot in the woodsy part of Skagit county, and I got to catch up with some old friends from high school.

The fourth wedding will be next weekend in Toronto. Matt won't be joining me (see last entry on Death Valley).

* * *

We have an apple tree.
Like all the things in our garden, it must learn to thrive with a steady pace of benign neglect. It was pruned last year, and had precious little attention since then.
Wednesday night, we pulled down 60 pounds of apples. From the fruit left on the tree, I expect another 60 lbs.
Matt wants to press and ferment these. I would be happy to make a lot of applesauce. We will see what gets accomplished before we both leave town again.

* * *

I defended my PhD more than 3 years ago. Pretty cool right? Every so often, I will ask myself if I miss benchwork, and if I should go back and do a post-doc. This is important, because many types of funding for postdocs are only available for 5 years after defense. I still don't feel like going back to the bench, but I was reminded on another type of fellowship that is only available for 5 years after defense. It's a science policy fellowship. My application is due at the end of the month.

* * *
My work has gotten "busy." To help my boss during a course of medical leave, I was assigned to project manage a small contract to create educational simulations. Fortunately for her, my boss has had much more energy and enthusiasm for her work than anyone has predicated. As a result, but job is not busy with decision making and leadership, but composing and waiting for replies to emails that need to be coordinated. This is less glamorous than I expected.

* * *

I've been lifting weights some this summer. I have a set of hobbyist weights that Shaoshu gave me when he moved. My big lifts (squats, deadlift, bench press) are just moving into the range of weight that would allow me to put weight on the 45 lb Olympic weight bar at a normal gym.
That's kinda cool.

Mosaic of Happenings

A few short notes of no special relevance, in no particular order:

I rode my bike to work on Friday.
Matt rides his bike in every day- the 7 mile trip takes him 20-25 min each way.
My 9+ mile trip took about an hour.
My friend Adam drove me home, so we could begin our weekend adventures. Next time, tomorrow, I will be driving my bike past some of the scary/trafficy part of the ride, and still probably riding 6ish miles, in 45 min or so. But I have to ride home, too.

* * *

I've been running "a lot"* lately. I bought some new trail running shoes, since my knees report my old ones were wearing out. The first pair I bought were super light weight, looked like a unicorn puked them up (vibrant reds, purples and yellows all swirled together), and made my toes fall asleep when I ran. I traded them in for a blue pair that look like keds skate shoes. The new ones meet the approval of both my knees and toes. And ankles.

*I can claim to be running a lot based on my current Strava standings. Strava is an app that tracks your mileage, records, etc, and lets you virtually race others. I've joined a "how many miles can you run this month?" challenge every month this summer, and I've been in the  top half every time. That's right- I run more than some people!

* * *

This year we were invited to 4 weddings, 3 of them in August.
One of Matt's old roommates got married a couple weekends ago. They found a beautiful castle/B&B in Tacoma to get married in. They rented out the whole B&B for thier family, but most of the family decided to make the drive home after, so we got to stay in the castle over night.
Castle weddings are awesome.
Also, macaroons are a legit substitute for wedding cake, especially (but not only) if you are marrying a French person.

* * *

This weekend, we did a hike to Mt Shuksan and Lake Ann.The trail was storybook perfect, with long meandering creeks that had wide, flat, not-slippery stones at easy points across them, and switch backs that gently climbed us the ~2,000 feet over a ridge.
The appeal of Mt Shuksan is that there are glaciers there. I haven't seen a lot of glaciers not in Alaska. Mt Shuksan has "hanging glaciers." We tried to guess how a hanging glacier was different, and I wondered why one mountain would have more than one glacier.
The actual view looked like some bits of a big glacier were stuck on the side of this mountain- so little compared to glacier attached to ice fields.
Still totally worth the hike.

We also saw some pika.

* * *

For Labor Day weekend, I am going to a wedding in Toronto, and Matt is going to spend two weeks in Death Valley doing "summer testing" of a truck. I assume this means they stress test the truck- driving it hot and hard in the worst possible climate to see if they can kill it. This seems like the weirdest possible way to explore Death Valley, but I'm really excited for Matt to go on this trip.

I'm also excited for when he comes back- we might actually spend a weekend in our own house.
Or we might go camping. With mountain bikes.
I'm excited for both options.

I need a new attitude

It's getting to be that time in the job cycle when I need to look for a new job. The current contract ends in December with no chance of renewal and it is time to move on. I like my current job and my current team, but I'm ready to try something more challenging (honestly, my work seems to have vast periods of awkward boredness to contend with).

But.... every time I sit down to do something job hunting related- update my resume, seek openings, put in applications- I find myself feeling really acutely like I want to cry. And crawl into bed forever. And cry some more. I'm not sure what it is exactly- I actually think it might be a poor habit from the YEAR I spent looking after graduation. But every time, I spend 20 minutes on LinkedIn, open a bunch of links that seem somewhat promising and then basically talk myself out of every single one of them. Ugh, that commute would be terrible. I couldn't stand to work on a sales team. That product is too mind numbingly boring to work with. There feels like there is no good opportunity for me and I feel hopeless. And then I either lose my momentum to any number of internet distractions, or I push through until I can't go any further without a hug.

Which is weird, because I'm actually fairly optimistic about my next job hunt. I've got some good experience and some interesting work to show, so I think I am well poised to find myself something more tailored to my interests. When I talk about what I am looking for, or go meet people for the purpose of talking about a job, I feel good. I have a story to tell. I know where I am headed.

And then I get home to my computer and it is all exsistential doubt.

So I'm thinking I need some new, more uplifting job hunting strategies. Any thoughts?

$30,000 in the bag!

Guys! Over at the other blog... we did it!

If you want to get in on the last chance to donate for this crazy affair, you can still donate to my 5K run on Sunday. But the important thing is that you don't have to, because I already hit the $30,00 mark.  How cool!!

Writing about my Vasectomy

Let's get caught up first. It's summer now, the weather is heating up, but is not yet at the point where everything outside is terrifying. Casey is still a baby, and still doesn't do much, but she smiles a lot more now, especially if you've been away at work for a while and you come back and look her in the face. She likes that. Tyler is still three, so he's mostly a big jerk, but sometimes he runs up when you're leaving day care to make sure to give you one last hug, and that's pretty nice. Also I got a new desktop computer.

Jessie decided, because she is a crazy person, that all of the faucets in the house needed to be changed. I attempted to change one of them, and then we hired a plumber. Which was nice, because they also swapped out all the angle valves in the house, which were all getting old, so that we don't have to worry about that for a while. It took a professional most of a day to get that done. I don't even want to think about how long it would have taken me. Money well spent.

Still working at the same job...starting giving myself injections of medicine and I'm getting used to the needle...got new phones that are very fancy and nice...starting to exercise again though my three mile pace is still really slow...yeah that about catches us up.

Monday I went in to see a Urologist named Dr. Chopp. I picked him because I wanted to get a vasectomy, and if you were going to get a vasectomy, I can't imagine why you would pick anyone else in the world to do it. After a quick consultation I decided to get the procedure done on Thursday. Quick turnaround on these procedures, let me tell you.

They offer you a 'mild sedative' if you have someone to drive you home. I wasn't sure what it was going to be, but it turns out they just gave me a couple of Zanax. An anti-anxiety medicine. If this is ever an option for you, take this medicine. I did, and am very glad.

The physical process of a vasectomy isn't that interesting, or hard to figure out. They go in, make some tiny cuts, stitch things together and you walk out under your own power. That's not the rough part. The rough part is laying down while a man takes sharp instruments to your most instinctively protected regions. It's panic-inducing. It's scary. I was lying there mostly just trying not to think about what was going on, especially when I felt stuff...moving. It didn't hurt bad, just a sting from the numbing agent. I did ask for a little extra after one of the snips felt a little harsh, but that's it. It's just laying there, thinking about what's going on. Trying not to move. Trying not to panic. I ended up humming the spider man theme song to myself a few times. Fortunately the procedure doesn't last long, but it's scary.

Later that night, I just was brushing my teeth and thinking about the surgery a little bit. Just thinking about it, hours later, almost made me throw up. The thinking about it...that's definitely the worst.

Time heals that, though, as well as the physical wounds. I'm definitely 'swaggering' around the house a lot more (sauntering?) and I can't move quickly. Also, doctor instructions were to essentially be a couch potato for the first few days. So there have been a lot of ice packs, and Jess has been doing a lot of parenting. I considered doing it on a Friday, but having somewhere to take Tyler for the first few days has been a real treat. I can take care of Casey a bit. You can do a lot of baby-rearing without getting up from the couch.

I'll definitely need some more time before I really know how I feel about this all the way. My head is quite certain, but my heart is more nervous. Especially as my biological instinct is to protect that area with everything I can. Some distance will put things in better perspective. I just wanted to write this all down so I don't forget about it later. I will want to remember things like this.

-N