Exploring the Boundary of Bad

Teaching is kind of fun. Well in some ways it is really stressful and serious and important, but in other ways it is like the gag reel of an intellectual comedy. I am getting used to having a million people asking me questions at once, and then long periods of boredom. I am also getting real comfortable with helping other people deal with their scientific problems. I like these problems, because they aren't mine.

Today's lab had a fairly simple task- a diagnostic and a real procedure to do in parallel. By half way, it became apparent that there were several failures, from some of my better students. So I starting thinking, "what could I have messed up for these guys that caused everyone to fail?" But when we noticed that there were all different manners of failure, I was real excited to figure out how they messed up (because I didn't mess up).

My students found some really inventive ways to botch today's procedure. This sort of stressed out Dr. Teacher, but for some reason doesn't bother me at all. I thought it would. I have no doubt that we are getting something through to them, and that making some of these weird but easy mistakes will mean they never mess it up again. Like, how 10X buffer has to be diluted before you can add enzymes to it, or you need a whole gel for electrophoresis. Maybe it is because I have learned a lot from the variety of mistakes I've made over the years, and that none of the mistakes I say today were expensive. It makes it really easy for me to be super level-headed in the face of chaos. That, and I am too tired to get to worked up about things that aren't REALLY worth the energy.

Working a lot is boring

It has been a while since I posted, but it has been a while since anything interesting happened. With Matt's OT schedule, and my new teaching obligations, the new MO has been to both get home around 7, scavenge food and try and deal with the house before getting to bed hopefully before midnight. It is a thrill-fest, made all the more thrilling by my Saturday TA training.

This was the last day (!), which covered inappropriate behavior and cheating. This was a bit disheartening. I may have mentioned that I already know about half the class personally- the suggestion was that there may appear to be an unfair advantage for these students, so I should just cut them off until the end of the semester. No lunch runs, no beer hours, no coffee fixes, no talking about anything but class... yeah right. I see these guys everyday, and I think it is good for them to be able to ask me questions about class. I don't tell them anything I wouldn't tell another students who came by, but admittedly, most of the other students don't. I am considering announcing in class where I eat lunch so that other students can drop by (I don't keep office hours- they are 'by appointment' or whenever they run into me), but I am not sure if this will just disrupt my one moment of relaxation during the day.

I am still working on my interactions with Dr. Teacher- he left me a nasty note before our Thursday lab, but was very apologetic and told me he "didn't mean for me to see it." I used it as a chance to air some of my concerns about my teaching obligation (I need a schedule if I want to do any science- he can't call me in the middle of the day an expect me to have 4 hours for him), but I've been warned he'll do this again. I am already working on my response for next time- something like "that actually upset me a lot" or "it makes me anxious to work independently when I might elicit such a response from you." Sigh.

On the upside, the Steelers season kicks off today, which gives the city something to rally around. We are going to watch the game with our camping friends, which sounds way more like recreating then the rest of the weekend.

Cruelly horrible day

Today was supposed to be my first day of teaching- I was going to write a post about how inspiring it is to work with the next generation of future scientists, and how profound it is to have an impact on them and their careers. It was supposed to be that way.

I was actually thinking about this as I was writing up a grading rubric for use in class over the noon hour while I tried to calm the butterflies before our 1 pm class. I showed up super early- 20 minutes early- to the mortifying realization that our class begins at noon! And I was 40 minutes late!

I thought Dr. Teacher might pull my still beating heart from my chest only to crush it on the tattered shards of my science (he has a bit of a temper), but he seemed to take it in stride. We'll see if this bears out through the week.

To cope with the paralyzing guilt of being the worst TA in the history of the department, I went off to Dr. Rockstar's lab meeting. I offered to pick up the laser pointer, only to be asked by the Secretary to the Chair "how is the baby?" Since my ego was already reeling, it was all I could do to say that , thanks, but I don't have a baby, and make an abrupt exit.

Seriously, being a grown-up is hard. Matt, being the best husband a ne'er do well pudgy grad student could have, picked me up at work where I was still cleaning glass plates at 7, took me home and told me despite what appears to be a fantastic memory problem, I am not nearly as horrible as the world has left me feeling today.

Teaching looks a lot like manual labor.

You may remember that this is going to be my First Semester Teaching. I have been anxious about what that might entail for me responsibility-wise, am I lecturing? Grading? Writing assignments? Prepping? What?

After a few long-winded meetings with Dr. Teacher, I think that - despite the hourly breakdown of my responsibilities he gave me (3 hours grading and 1 hour clean up a week? Really?), most of my job will be to keep Dr. Teacher sane. That is why I am spending this weekend unpacking.

The space for the teaching labs has been 'renovated' so every piece of equipment, every chemical, every one of the hundreds of little fragile glass flasks has to be moved back into the the dungeon, unloaded and organized into a semi-logical fashion.
Before classes start the 25th.

If I were Dr. Teacher, I know I would be more than just freaked out (which he is), I would be livid (which he is). The space isn't technically ready for us even now, and there isn't like some major task force on hand to help with the transition.

And they didn't clean up the dust, and they didn't actually put any shelves in the prep area.

And they killed our internet connections.

But rather than freaking out about this myself (not my job), I am trying to maintain a optimistically hardworking attitude, and just fix the problems that will be my problem later. Like organizing glassware. Now is probably a good time for Dr. Teacher to form an impression that I am normally a hard working person, so that when things come up later- like I want to some experiments- he'll be inclined to be flexible. And things will come up.

I think I should point out the Universities attitude about the value of Teaching- I am getting a pay cut this semester. You can bet I'll be counting up my 20 hours a week pretty closely, because teaching won't get me any closer to graduating. Oh, I see- this is where all of those cynical, apathetic TAs came from.

I'm a TA

I FINALLY got my teaching assignment official on Monday. I'll be TAing Molecular Genetics lab- two sections that meet for 5 hours once a week (I meet with them for 10). I'll be prepping and assisting mostly, this sounds light on the lectures, and about my speed of science actually. The instructor, we'll call him Twombles, seems like a reasonable guy if chatty. A lot of the undergrads in our lab are in it, and there are only 12 students per section, which is a pretty good deal.

I have a couple qualms about the class- it is to be moved back into a newly renovated space that is only going to be available to us at most a week before class starts. One week to move in all the glassware and chemicals, fill the drawers, and get the room organized. And let the dust settle so it can be "sterile." Since other classes are taught in the space I expect that this week will be crazy, but then it will pretty much have to be fixed (and not by me) very quickly. The other is that the course was designed by my least favorite faculty of all. In typical old faculty style, the entire course is outlined in great detail, in his head. He has been moved to a more administrative position, so he is no longer teaching the course, but - the instructor assures me- no other changes are being made to the course design. So I am a little fuzzy on whether there are assignments, and how the experiments are meant to be done, but Twombles is confident we can work through these things. I am confident it is not my responsibility to design course work, so this should work.

I mentioned Twombles is a reasonable guy- he practically insisted I take the time to go to Noel and Jessie's wedding (I was worried when I heard it was a Friday lab), and the Thanksgiving trip won't overlap at all. Teaching starts at the end of August, so you can expect to hear much more about this in the coming months.