Big Month

After a truly stellar break, that barely felt like I deserved it (take a week off after logging 7 weeks, sure, I really worked up a sweat), we are back to our normal lives again.  It was nice to be distracted from real life with a week of baby giggles and copious holiday food.  Not that my job is stressful, far from it.  But our real life is starting to feel complicated.  I told Matt the other day, I have three primary worries: 1) Moving out of our house.
2) Getting our Mortgage and closing
3) Paying my taxes (complicated this year by 3 jobs and a business license)
Any of these things is really no big deal, it's the all-at-the-same-time-ness of it that worries me a bit.  Moving isn't really a complex problem, just a big investment of time and energy.  The mortgage should go as planned, but I am told it is normal for delays of up to a week.  And a week delay would be complete chaos for us.  That feels a little like a time bomb that may or may not go off- and it seems related to complicated financial thingies I don't really understand that well.

And then there are taxes.  As a small business owner coming up on  my first taxes season, I have NO idea what I am doing except that I certainly owe someone a LOT of money.  I sat down with a tax professional a couple months ago to reassure myself I was setting aside enough money (~35%), and confirmed who I would be paying (just the Feds and the state of WA).  Now it is that time to pay them.  Washington has been sending me friendly reminders that NOW would be a great time to pay my taxes.  Ha.  Now, when all my money is supposed to be carefully observed by underwriters.  Nice.

After some deliberation, I beleive only my WA taxes are due Jan 31. Actually, that sentence makes the whole experience sound fairly composed.  After several sleepless nights, much internet research a a couple of closets cleaned on nervous energy, I've figured out how to pay my federal taxes, and realized I need to wait for ALL my W2s to come in.  But, WA keeps reminding me that I need to pay THEM by Jan 31.  Ack! 

I compiled my gross earnings (which I had started for the mortgage, so that was less horrifying than I predicted), and continued to research online.  The Department of Revenue (DOR) has an overly friendly series of videos about "How do I pay my taxes?" and "When are my taxes due?" that were both informative and infuriating.  The DOR has forms that can help you do all kinds of things, like calculate the taxes rates and even a percent.  But then they use some very cryptic categories to describe the types of businesses that get taxes at each rate.  With the help of a piece of pie, I decided my business (editing) counts a service.  Not retail, or publishing which are different tax rate.  Ok, 1.8% tax of my gross income- I owe somebody like $500. The pieces are starting to come together.

I go to file online, since the DOR has calculators they trust, and I am hoping I can use my current paypal balance to pay off the state without messing up my credit report.  I checked all the tax credits I could select, but I am not doing "High Tech" or "Utilities" work, and I don't want to get on anyone's Audit List by getting creative. I'm just providing business services and trying to be a good citizen. So, click, click, click, and taxes filed.  The confirmation pages says "no taxes are due at this time...." and I save this.

And then I think, if they aren't due now, when are they do?  And where do I send this cash? So I looked a little more closely at that confirmation page. Wait, some of those numbers are positive... and the total number is zero?  What?  It is supposed to be $500.  And then I notice "0720 Service & Other SBC" Credit negating the total I thought I owed.  Wha....?  I've got a cold sweat, now.  Did I hit something wrong?  I am just trying to do the right thing here! 

I found a description of the 0720 credit that maxes out at less money then I have saved.  I'm hyperventilating and trying to guess who I have to call to "unfile" my taxes so I don't look like a total cheater.  I can convince myself that I probably won't go to court over this error, but I might end up spending a lot on legal help over this stupid mistake.  Should I just write a check and send it in? They don't penalize you for over-paying.

After a little MORE digging, I finally found the correct form (which looks almost exactly like the other TWO incorrect forms, except the header is for "Annual Filing"), I find that this tax credit gets applied to the first ~$50,000 you make.  And uh... I'm well under that bar.  It's nice to remind oneself that these problems aren't really that huge in the scheme of things. 

Anyway, I'm feeling like a good citizen who has some seriously cluttered closets to attend to.

More thoughts on working

The job is still pretty good.  Weirdly, the two people that are supervising me have been out of town, so I continue to correspond with my editors who work off-site by email.  It feels much like the off site version of the job, except that I dress up nice and commute to do it.  This first week has been slow- on boarding, orientation etc are mostly next week, and the project kick off is next week.  This week has been more.... prepare generally for the possibility of writing this course.  The course will be for HS students to prepare to take certification exam for a health sciences career.  This week was so slow I considered whether or not I should get certified in preparation.  I haven't completely ruled out this possibility.

But I work just minutes from Shaoshu!  We had lunch today- how cool! 

I still can't shake this feeling that... it should be harder?  Or I'm not working hard enough?  I think these are the guilty echoes of a science career ignored.  It's hard to let go of this idea that if I really cared, if I'd really tried, I would have found a drug and be too busy saving lives for this stuff.  Objectively, I know it's not about effort, it's about luck.  So now I am at this job picking up on the vibes that my editors are slightly annoyed with my constant demand  for MORE WORK.  Heh, I'm sure we'll all settle into a decent habit once the project kicks off.  Until then, I've been memorizing Rx shorthand and trying to memorize the top 100 most prescribed drugs. 

Matt has been totally picking up the slack on the home font.  My commute takes enough time that he can have a bike ride and make dinner all before I get home - and he does!  I'm still adjusting to this early morning routine, and trying to figure out what to do with my evenings now.  After all the business of getting to and from work, I'd like to enjoy myself, but there isn't that much time left... not that I have anything that MUST get done most days.  I guess this is what it's like for people who work.

We are trying to gear up for Noel-boo, Jessie-boo and Tyler-boo.  It figures I would get a job just in time for them to come- I'm not even sure how much time I can blow off for lunch yet!  Fun will be had though- no doubt!

First Day on the Job!

Today was my very first day at my NEW job.  It is different than any job I could have imagined myself in a year ago, but I really think I am going to like it there. 

 Although the job isn't what I could have imagined for myself- it is exactly what I figured working in a Seattle office building would be like.  The big big boss has a golden retriever named Cody who loyally follows him around.  Our conference room looks out onto Elliot Bay, the important people's offices look back at the Space Needle.  Seriously, I am down the hall from the Associate Press of Seattle. 

There are about 10 people in our office, with desks and computers and stuff in the office.  Now I am one of these people with a desk, two monitors and even a phone. We've got a break room that is stocked with tea and coffee and leftover Halloween candy.  My manager suggested I might enjoy eating my lunch on the patio (with the unreal view of the bay).  I actually can enjoy part of that vista from my sorta cubicle.  Not exactly 4 walled cubicles, we have long, stair shaped desks that probably could accommodate a dozen extra people.  I don't really feel like I "share" this with anyone, but there are two other people in my bay, I suppose you would call it.Tragically, I have no walls to call my own to hang any time of commemorative anything more substantial that a postcard.  I'm totally willing to give this up for the view.

And the work just picked up where we left off on Friday, which was cool.  I'm diving into some newer stuff (very superficial xml), and being able to call upon the people around me to help out is a real boon.  We are at the very early stages of a product cycle (starting a new class), so I can get the feel for my coworkers before things really heat up.  I've never worked in an office setting before, and I was struck that everyone talked like librarians, very hush hush (I am sure this is magnified by a factor of Seattle).

The downside.... oh, the downside... was the commute.  It took me about an hour to get in this morning.  I left around the time Matt did and easily made it in before 8 am.  But, I wasn't supposed to meet anyone there until 8:45, so I went and sat in a coffee shop full of vintage furniture and sipped tea in the grey Seattle morning light and listened to my podcasts.  I felt very urban.  On the way home, I left just after dark, waited for buses a bit longer than I should have and ended up getting home just before 7.  This is a long day, but really the only part that is stressful is the transfer.  Otherwise I was checking my email, listening to podcasts, playing on my phone... the bus ride was easy.  If I can get an elegant bus route lined up I don't think I will mind so much.  By the time I got home I felt.... excited.  And energized.  I don't think grad school ever made me feel like that, I'm hoping I can hang on to that momentum through the roughness of the winter commutes and/or still enjoy it during the long summer days.

End of an Era

I am sitting at my computer in my PJs, with a big cup of tea and enjoying the rain filtered light this morning.  What I am doing today that is different then most days is that I am not working.  I might get some revisions to handle in the next couple days, but really the days of working quietly from home are about to come to a end.  The "at home" contract is wrapped up, and my REAL JOB starts Monday morning. 

I've already been adapting to the changes.  In the evening, there is not a flicker of guilt that I am not retooling my resume, or prowling job boards.  This has left me with a shocking amount of free time- I'm not really sure what to do with myself, honestly.  I'm on the hunt for hobbies that will adapt well to long bus rides (podcasts?  embroidery? suggestions welcome).  And I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea of this new life, the new habits, the new trajectory... it's a lot to take in.

I'm going to miss having my "work clothes" be sweat pants.  I'm going to miss being hourly, so I can stop working when I'm done.  I'm going to miss the quick transition form working to being at home where my life is.  But having a job, with benefits, and set hours, in a cool location, with interesting people and projects is totally worth giving that up for. 

Anyway, I have a couple days to myself before this all gets started, so I am trying to wrap up as many loose ends (and finish as much laundry) as possible before then. 

I'm official! I have a job!

The rumors have been swirling for ages, but all the pieces FINALLY came together.  I've accepted an offer with my favorite client as a full time curriculum writer.  I "start" Nov 5, which is funny, because I work for them already on contract.  That will be more like, "I get a desk in the office."  And meet my coworkers.  And get benefits.  Yeah, I'm pretty pumped about it. 

I'll probably write up more about the job and how I finally landed it on the other blog, but for now, I'm busy joyfully dancing in the kitchen!  Woohoo!

Talking to my idols

The coolest thing just happened!  I decided I wanted to talk to this Famous Blogger (in my neck of the internet) about the kinds of things this pseudonymous person is famous for (which is reporting on the state of jobs in chemistry, and generally advocating for jobs policy).  There is not a voice quite like this in biology, and the blog covers of lot of really policy centric stuff.  Like, Chemjobber gets up super early to read and report on the jobs report.

The point is, I realize this person is passionate and engaged in something that is clearly beyond the scope of their actually paid position, and I wanted to know how that works.  And if it is something that I would care to try/ fit into my own version of myself as a professional.   So even though I think of this person as incredibly important, and busy, and thoughtful and frankly, kinda famous... I sent an email saying I like what you do and I'd love to talk about how you do it.  Because, you gotta try, even if you get caught in a spam filter or weeded out by an all important secretary.

Ha.  Chemjobber wrote back in 10 minutes and was like "Sure!  You wanna Skype?"  WOW.

Moral of the story: Don't be intimidated by your heroes.

Visit home!

Matt and I are leaving tomorrow for a week in Juneau, for One Last Trip to the Ol' Homestead... but mostly because one of Matt's besties is getting married.  We are very excited for them- they are adorable together and it's going to be a great Juneau wedding.  I want to specify that the few details I have heard about the wedding make think it's going to be a Juneau wedding- they are getting married at the Thane Ore House (converted mine, now local fish feed place), the mother of the groom is leaving her car at the ferry terminal for the band to drive themselves in on and the bride asked for help picking wildflowers for her bouqet.  Right?  You wish you were coming to this wedding too...

While Matt is going to be adventuring around with all the assembled friends all week, I am taking a working vacation- hoping to put in some hours on my current contract.  And can we talk about how much I dig this contract? The work is really enjoyable- I spent this week reviewing new material and then coming up with test questions to assess the learning objectives.  Learning AND being creative, brilliant!  And the work is pretty high through-put, I get assigned tasks from an unending list of things to do, and most tasks are 1-3 hours.  I feel like I am accomplishing things, which is great!  The bulk of the content is IT related, which you might think I would feel underqualified for.  (I'm not OVERqualified, it's true.)  But having spent so many years thinking about educational standards and assessment, I actually feel like I have something unique to offer.  At least I feel like I've come up to speed pretty quickly.  The other awesome side of this work is I am finally in a position where I need to find one of those people who helps you figure out what you are going to do come tax time, is this an accountant or a financial adviser in my case?  Yeah, I've got self-employment problems. 

So I will be working as much as I can stand, and Kelsey is coming in, and Mom and Dad are moving and it promises to be a pretty wild week.

Blah-blah-blog

I have two main excuse for intermittent blogging- 1- working and job hunting keeps me crazy busy, 2- I see my primary audience quite often.  I tend to think of my core readership as, well... Nana.  And I see her about as often as I might blog, so it seems less pressing to get a post together.  But I blog for my MOMMY, so here is a little effort.

Real quick, no updates on the job front.  Although I sometimes wonder if I'll ever miss semi-regular coffee meetings with strangers and unending follow-up/scheduling meetings.  Ahahaha...

I'm taking this class at the community college which is proving to be interesting.  Introduction to Project Management- it's a good add-on skill to the many skills I have (on the other blog, I am using my job hunt as a case study for project management).  I am thinking about taking the next class,or possible the Intro to Technical Writing Class, or possibly... studying for the patent agent bar- because having a B.Sc. in Biochemistry allows me to skip Law School for this purpose.  Basically, I'm bored with not knowing where my career is going so I am scrambling to make up more viable paths for myself.  Would anyone like to weigh in on which of these things seem most in-line with my interests in skills? 

Mom and Dad were down for one scant day over the weekend, but it was enough to showcase the great digs Nana has set up in Bothell and catch up a little.  I don't mind if they come for short visits so long as they come often.  On a related note, the campaign to have the first "Post-Retirement Vacay" at my house has already started.  Noel, I think we could easily rope together a couple legs of this journey, as a "Make Dad jealous of Mom's travel schedule and want to retire, too" trip.  We can discuss more later.

Matt's CDL class is moving along.  They've been driving on the streets, and will probably be on the highway this weekend.  I'm glad he is making progress, but I can't wait for it to be over.  To adjust to his new hectic schedule, we are trying (trying) to go for some short runs in the evening.  I don't mind jogging at night, but it seems silly to do after some of the beautiful days we've had here.  Matt is just about down to a 6 minute mile (what?!), and whatever his whole warm-up/cool down cycle is is how long it takes me to run a mile as well.  Oh, and another favor dear readers: I am re-reading a Terry Pratchett book (Feet of Clay, I forgot how much I like that one), which is a sign that I am both over-extended, and out of good reading material.  Suggestions?

I don't have time to be sick!

Yesterday started out a bit rough, and I realized by the time I was meeting with our regional VP to talk about how to get promoted (more on this in a moment) it wasn't just a lack of coffee and some sore muscles.  That sleepy, chilly, achey and stupid feeling was definitely a fever settling in.  Oh arg.  The weird thing about working a 4 hour shift is it hardly makes it seem worth calling off.  Esp after I'd just had this meeting and my shift was half over.

Yeah, so this meeting.  The guy who hired me is the regional VP of something... he is my manager's boss's boss.  He's a nice guy, and he is totally tickled to have brought a Ph.D. into the organization, and he is also pretty sympathetic that I didn't pursue that to be a teller.  (He is kind of in denial that I am 100% married to a career in banking.)  So we were talking about whether I should apply for the Fast Track program to take some classes to be a relationship manager, basically get some experience with sales and some of the back end stuff so that if/when a position opens up at a manager level, I could move into it.  He is pretty confident this can work for me, even though I haven't finished with my on-boarding (ie. I am not a very good teller yet).  I tried to get a feel for whether this would be useful for me if I didn't want to be in a sales position, and I got a sort of "product knowledge is useful" type of answer.  I read that as 'not a waste of time,' and I'd rather get paid to be trained then to actually do my job, if they are cool with it.  We'll see where that goes.  I'm really going to feel bad if I get a job offer to go be a scientist somewhere though.

A little more on that conflict: I'd really like to be a scientist, but I can't deny that it is out of my control.  It seems to be easy to be a banker, and at this stage, I could use some "easy" to give me confidence for the other things I've got going on.  But I can't figure out how I am going to love banking, which is why the search for a scientist job continues.  Today I found a job in Operations for a person who is called a "Scientist" but actually facilitates the development and manufacturing process.  Cool, right?

In other news, I spent today on the couch, snoozing, listening to Pandora and working on some editing contracts.  I've got 2 due Friday, one Monday.  One is for 320 yuan, and I finished that up this afternoon.  The other two are more long term (legit?) projects that have been ongoing.  But I'm impressed that just a couple hours of contract work makes my week suddenly feel slammed (I'm sick, remember). 

A job that isn't a career

I started working this week.  Nice.  I'm a part time teller at Key Bank, which gives me a chance to practice dressing like an adult, re-infuses a little cash into the budget and reduces that stench of unemployed desperation.  Although, if we are going to be honest, I have like 3 jobs- 5 if you count those that doesn't pay me in non-negotiable currency (see, I am learning so much at the bank!).  My coworkers are a lot less buttoned up then I was afraid of, and I'm doing a decent job at learning.  There is something deeply intimidating about taking someone's cash off their hands for them, so I am just training for the next couple weeks.  I did let someone into their safe deposit box today, though.

But, let's be for reals, I took this job so I could find a better job.  While I'm there for 20 hours, I don't mind chatting with them about training for long term promotion, but when I am not there I am doing contract work and looking for a job that suits me better.  Because my new coworkers laughed when they heard I had a Ph.D.  I met with an engineer this evening to talk about transitioning into bioengineering.  I'm trying to work my schedule around my internship at the UW.  I've got another meeting tomorrow to talk about more volunteer opportunities.  I'm not giving up on this yet.  But I do need a couple more blouses and probably a grey blazer to make this work in the long term (I like blazers- they have pockets).

Matt and I are going camping this weekend not far from Mt Vernon.  We are going with his bestie who was born on the leap year, and just celebrated his eight birthday.  We had pizza AND pie on Wednesday- much like the Olympics, waiting 4 years makes you want to get it right.

Where is this headed?

Among the fun filled delights this weekend, I both "hosted" a bridal shower for a friend (I brought the paper plates and encouraged the gals that did the real work), and saw Dr. Rockstar in concert. Since this is the polar opposite to the rest of my week (People! Stimulation! Fun!), I think I was a bit more in-tuned to my place in it. Example, I realized fairly abruptly that I am not on target to be in a band at any level of success, even though this wasn't an opportunity I remember giving up on. I believe it is called Opportunity Cost, I'll get back to this. I also remember when Matt and I were going to get married, and that seemed like it was just going to seal-the -deal on a lifetime of happiness. Don't get me wrong- I am so happy with the "married to Matt" part of my life, but since coming to grad school, that part has been much less central to my identity then I thought it would be when I was 23.

And now I am at this exciting/terrifying jump point, I am about to finish school, and I can opt to stay the course- find another training opportunity, learn something new as a postdoc- or leap from the Ivory Tower to.... something else? It makes me wonder where I am headed, and also how wrong I might be about that. Either way, the only way to get to where I want to go, is start going there- if I want to be a middle aged rocker, I better start rockin', and if I want to be living closer to my family, I shouldn't look for jobs in town. I should instead stick to my guns, and look for my dream job/lifestyle. If I want to try at all, I should shun the academic style and pursue something in industry or government- something really different.

But maybe I have a fatalistic work ethic. I don't think I can be happy unless I find some meaningful and productive work, but I will insist on taking it much to seriously and personally so that I can be just as miserable in other fields as I am currently. That might just be my dissertation talking. Everyone can find something they don't like about their job, and it is likely not something they might have predicted at the outset, right? But really, what if I am leaving the best job I'll ever have? There are plenty of things I REALLY like about my current job, and I am confident I could get another job like it. And in this economy, the job you can get is worth 100 you can dream of.

Maybe I am being old fashioned, but it seems like the jobs you used to have shape the jobs you can get next; at this point, I am on track to be a virologist. Should I be trying to jump the track to go into policy, or should I just accept that I am a trained virologist? In principle, my NEXT career change can take me to policy, but the longer I stay on this track, the more I am a virologist. Opportunity cost, right?

But let's face it, all this is a lot of panic and not a lot of job hunting. I like to imagine if I weren't so paralyzed with indecision, I might spend more time finding, nay, targeting great jobs and getting good job offers. So far, my many paltry efforts have only given me belated rejection, and not sense of improvement- which is not helping the paralysis.

Moral of the story- if you know anyone who needs a scientist, send them my way.

My employment history

I may have mentioned recently, but one of the fellowships I am applying for wants my last 15 year of employment history. Since I don't actually HAVE 15 years of history, I am hoping to fill in as much as possible of what there is. But, I don't seem to remember what I was doing. Did I work after I came back from Portugal? Did I have a job before analytica? When did I start working at UAS? If anyone wants to help me brainstorm up these details, I'd appreciate the help.

Must be Good Enough

When I told my coworkers I got that interview, at least one of them pointed out that this is a good sign that my resume doesn't suck. Good point- if I can be getting interviews for jobs I am not especially qualified for- well, just watch out when I find a good match!

I decided to go to the interview, and scheduled it for as soon as possible. Which was actually this afternoon. I didn't want to have time to develop any kind of nervousness, which only worked to an extent. I was nervous. Which is funny, really.

I was interviewed by a current fellow, a kid who is barely one year out of college and majored in environmental policy. He told me how cool the fellowship was, and I asked him some hard questions, and he asked me some pretty standard questions (what are your long term goals, how have you dealt with adversity...) and when I asked him what the rest of the interview process was like (since this was conspicuously called the First Interview), he offered me a chance to go to the second interview. Yeah, I must be good at interviewing!

Now, it is quite clear to me that this is a great opportunity to learn some things I don't think I want to know (there is lots of formal Activist Training), for a cause I care about. There are lots of reasons I can't accept this position, and plenty of reasons I am sure I can interview well for it. However, the second interview is a day long workshop (is that even an interview anymore?) in two weeks, in Philadelphia (6 hours from here). I told my interviewer I would let him know if I was available for that date, but I think I should tell him I am no longer interested in the position. Is there a polite way to do that?

I've got a to schedule a phone interview for another job I don't think I should take in Wisconsin, but I might be able to convince them to pay me more, so I'll get back to you about that. This is good incentive to start applying to jobs I actually want now. My resume is hot!

Good news?

I got a job interview for a job I can't afford to take.

Sigh. I know that sounds quite defeatist. This is for a national program training recent grads to be better at public outreach for environmental causes. The pay is slightly less than I make now, and the commitment is two years, and the actual job isn't actually what I want to do. I imagine it is something Kelsey's classmates might be better qualified to do (write press releases, host media events, contact constituents, Mobilize the Membership), and for the rest of us, there is a two year internship program. It takes no advantage of my science background or training, and certainly puts me on a path to long-term non-profit work (not using my degree). That's pretty much not what I want at all. I learned all this already when I met them at the career fair, but since I had prepared a special resume just for this job, I figured I should leave it with them.

The general atmosphere, I like. The cause (the environment), I care about. The location may be up to my choosing anywhere in the US. I've already made up my mind to go as far with any application process as possible before rejecting the opportunity, because I need the practice. Even though I'm quite confident I don't want this job, I'm REALLY nervous about it. And I haven't even set up the appointment yet. I'm slightly worried in this case I'll find it hard to say no when the time is right. For now, that can be Matt's role. I'll just focus on knocking their socks off, so I can feel uber righteous when *I* reject *them.*

In the meantime- what happens at an interview? Now soliciting all forms of advice for round two of the job hunt.

Job Hunting isn't a very fun hobby.

I'm feeling quite mixed up these days. Some of this is because my boss refuses to admit defeat (experimentally), and partly because I am such a contrarian that I've become an utter-defeatist in spite of him. Some of it is because I realize we will be leaving Pittsburgh soon, and while I am so ready to leave, there are a lot of things I will miss about it. We've been recruiting grad students this weekend, which forced me to remember all the reasons I chose to come here, and all the reasons I think it is cool here. And I'm also feeling acutely worried that we actually won't be leaving soon, I'll just be unemployed for a while.

Job hunting has quickly become my primary hobby, and I've also become incredibly unfocused. I'd rather have a mediocre job than not, which means I keep digging up jobs that are tangentially related to what I want to do, or think I could get hired to do. And from there I can imagine being plenty happy, living in Redmond being a biotech sales associate, even though that is completely unrelated to what I've been thinking my goals have been. While I feel very strongly that science needs better advocates in the policy arena, I'm not very confident that I can be successful at that (or be taken seriously during my transition). It's hard to keep my prioties in order- is it more important to live out west than the have the perfect policy job? Apparently, since I can't make myself look at jobs in WA DC. Then is it more important to stay in policy than just be paid well? And Matt is confident that he can find a job anywhere I can, bless his flexibility, but this means I get to (have to?) set all the limits. Where do we go? What would I be willing to do there? It is hard to get to the business of enjoying what may be our final months in Pittsburgh when I feel guilty for every hour of leisure I am not combing job listings or polishing cover letters.

Career Fair- Day One

Forgive me if I come off as niave or closed-minded, but I made up my mind to go to the career fair because you should. Not because I thought there would be a wealth of information, that I would meet some interesting people or get to imagine my future in a bunch of different and exciting ways, or that I would be a viable candidate for any jobs. I decided to go because I figured I should try this kind of thing so when people ask me in 12 months why I am still unemployed I can honestly say I've tried everything there is to try, to get some practice talking to the types of people who are hiring and confront some rejection. This was not an especially optimistic outlook, which is certainly why I dragged one of my coworkers on this adventure with me. This is my Canadian friend, and we've career adventured together before (Hello, Toronto!). Although she isn't graduating for another year, she whipped up a resume and gamely came down there with me this morning.

We both had investigated the list of employers, and came up with a barely overlapping list. I am very interested in government service, regulation and the environment, and she is very interested in biofuels, energy technology and outreach. We printed off our resumes, edited them, re-printed them and giggled nervously all the way to the career fair. I was feeling anxiously optimistic, until we showed up. We were greeted by hoards of undergrads in classic black suits who were prepping themselves on the couches outside. Neither of us own black suits, and we are both wearing our nicest "seminar quality clothes," which in the context of employment, is actually nothing special. I have no idea what you would actually study up on before entering the fair, and that made me feel even LESS prepared. But there was no turning back. We got name tags, lists of presenters, a deep breath and entered the first room.

In the first room, booths with info and banners lined the room and filled it's center. The nervous suit people waited quietly in lines for a chance to join in the friendly recruiting banter. It was noisy and crowded, and I knew there is no way I'll be able to read a list and find anyone on the map (and I don't know who I am looking for anyway), so we traded Good Lucks, and I walked around the room to see who is there. To get my bearings, I introduced myself to some people that no one was talking to- they were friendly enough, and even though their field sometimes requires biologists, they did not want my resume or even my email address. Ouch. There were a lot of engineering, contracting type people around, all of whom were glad to send me away immediately, I got to thinking this was going to suck, a lot actually. I walked past one booth that had a flier for "internships for grads and undergrads" but the person there couldn't answer my questions. Arg.

But I ran across one of the employers I had Googled just before we walked over, and they were very friendly, really happy that I knew what they did and happy to talk up the training opportunities there (again, I am not the ideal candidate, but I believe I would be a perfect fit after 6mo on the job). I left them my resume, which they made some notes on while I collected their cards. Ok, this is not so bad. And back at the "internships..." booth, I met the hiring manager for a major bio remediation firm. I was pretty honest, I've never considered working in bioremediation now, but it sounds like something I would enjoy at lot, and it's important to me to find work that agrees with my values. She was really nice, and I traded my resume for her business card (she put notes on it, too).

I met some guys at a software company that just likes to hire smart people to do good work (yeah! I could do that), and told the air force recruiter that after spending 10 years working towards this specialty, I wasn't especially interested in complete retraining. I talked to a guy at PA Civil Service who recommended I take the Civil Service exam to be placed with employment in the State, and learned about some other training opportunity at the National Energy Labs. I got tacit disinterest from several other places, but the two employers I am most interested in impressing weren't even there today.

It was actually kind of fun, learning about different places people work, imagining myself in different fields, trying to show off my interpersonal skills. And it helps to have to articulate yourself to someone who might offer you a job. I felt almost silly for being so nervous before I got there. Then, back at work, my friend and I got to field all the questions from our coworkers about who was there, what do you say to them, what happens then, and then? And I realized again that it is tragically common in my field to make career choices based on the slimmest of information. So yes, I am still shopping around for a calling, and hopefully applying to a lot of jobs soon. I've contacted the bioremediation people already to ask about specific jobs, and tomorrow, we are going back to impress some more people. Wish me luck!

And while I was feeling so awesome about acting like an independent professional all day, one of my co-workers asked if I would consider being the female vocalist for his 80's power ballad cover band. (I said I had other plans for Valentine's, but maybe later... Don't wait up for the perm).

My life is pretty awesome.

Career Workshop

At the risk of sounding like a peacenik, beautiful things happen when you bring people together to share their hopes and dreams. I don't want to overstate the value of this career workshop I just lead, but I am going to say, Success. We had an AMAZING turnout. I had 41 people sign up, and thank goodness our GSO president thought to put out a sign up sheet ( I was sure I would just remember both people who came). Because our department has agreed to host the refreshments for future workshops, now I can justify a sizable budget.

Our corporate sponsor didn't make me feel like a sell-out, he actually only brought one info sheet and mostly talked about how you could really do anything once you got some education in science. And then my committee talked about some really cool stuff- which I knew they would, they rock- and people added in some extra ideas. The thing that was most interesting to our attendees, and which made me most glad we chose to include that, was to have a post-doc talk just a little about how she got her job. She is a friend from Dr. Rockstar's lab, and I knew she had put some thought and reflection into her choice. A LOT of people asked questions about it, and then the post-docs who came added in their perspective too. It was a beautiful thing.

I'm starting to realize, as part of my on-going study on "what I want to do when I grow up" that I really enjoy getting this kind of thing started, using the momentum to get off the ground and prove that is doesn't have to be a big thing. Where I tend to falter is in the follow-through, although I know this about myself, and have been forcing myself to stick to 1 year commitments on things like WISC, pottery etc. After a year, then it is a habit, and easy to stick with. I'm not really sure how to leverage this into a job, but I do know I am 1 workshop on fellowships away from being the first chair of the GSO Social Workshop Committee- then I get to pass the mantle to someone who will be around in the fall.

My Career Workshop

We are often told in grad school, if you really want to learn something, teach it. Let's hope this is the tru-ism that is leading me to lead a 'Social Workshop' on Careers for PhDs. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned, but after having relative success with WISC, when the grad students in the department started grumbling that we needed some guidance on some major life events, I figured I could get it off the ground. Last summer I volunteered to be the Chair of the Social Workshop Committee.

I supposed we should have a mission statement, or core principles, but we really just have a need to respond to a need. Specifically, the grumbling of grad students- namely, our first years seem to make predictable and avoidable mistakes every year, no one knows how to graduate, or get a job and there seem to be some useful career skills we've never picked up on. We led a session in the fall for the first years, that I've been told they appreciated. And then I got overwhelmed by fall. But now we are back on track, and ready to do careers, next week!

I've asked the grad students and post-docs to share any resources they have about careers, and I'm compiling all these to a handout. I've already gotten a couple emails back, and several people have expressed interest. Then my awesome Social Workshop Committee will talk about some of the things from the list we have experience with, and hopefully people will want to chime in. Of course they will want to chime in though, it's an important topic and our CORPORATE SPONSOR is buying us beer. Yeah, we got sponsored. Our GSO president hooked me up, and I think it will be great.

I forsee rejection in my future

I'm trying to get comfortable with this idea of not being good enough for a while. I'm trying to get into the job market, which is not quite the fun-filled adventure I might have hoped. As the issue is becoming more pressing (154 days and counting), it's time to get over my hang-ups and try a few things. The way I see it, I'll cut my teeth (and polish my resume) on some jobs I am hopeless for while I figure out what I really want to do. And why would I put myself through the ringer for this? Because I'm not sure what I think I want to do, and I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified for it anyway.

My first round of job searching is leading me to believe that I am going to need a lot of time to prepare myself and find the right opportunity. There are lots of jobs for Science Policy Directors or Managers of Policy, and a lot of them are in the WA DC (Virginia or Maryland) area. Jobs I can't get, and jobs I don't want. Wading through a LOT of those, I'll find the occasional job I think I could do, only to find I'm not qualified. Pouring over job listings seems like a good way to figure out what I want to do, although it is a bit disheartening. Fortunately I have many years of training in how to persevere. The thing to do seems to be get over the rejection, put myself out there a lot and use it as an opportunity to practice every step of the way- the cover letter, the resume, the interview... so that hopefully I can amass a lifetime of practice in time to land my dream job. You know, I'll be so glib and thoughtful, that the interviewers will overlook the fact that I have no relevant job experience, and totally give me a job they ordinarily reserve for someone with a masters in public policy, or at least a bachelors in political science.

Check and Check

Two big things off my list.

1) I completed my first fellowship application. Thanks everyone who read my letter and gave me advice on the right way to send off such a thing- I know I was unduly stressed about getting it out. I actually had Matt come into my work to run technical (and emotional) support while I created a a couple pdfs and wrote the actual email. Even though I was really high strung, it is nice to share these major milestones with my husband. Today I applied for my first job!

2) I sent the first manuscript off to the coauthors. We've moved on to step 2, as outlined in this previous post. I know you were probably all thinking this was out, gone, old news, and I somehow neglected to mention it. Ha! You'll be hearing about every grueling detail! I sent that out late yesterday, and so far I haven't even gotten a "when would you like comments back" or any other form of acknowledgment. But, Dr. Boss is going to see the one collaborator who doesn't work in Pittsburgh this weekend, so hopefully he can encourage this process a bit. We've got 7 more steps to go!

That is 2 big writing projects down (well, I am counting #2 as an accomplishment- since we move into a different stage of writing next). I have a couple more applications to work on, and then I should try to get my CV and a general cover letter in order as I expand my job search. Know anyone hiring anywhere west of the Rockies? Oh, and there is another manuscript in my future and,... oh yes. A Dissertation to write. More writing to come.

We celebrated with an awesome pork pot roast, so I also feel like the champion of my own kitchen.