April for Team Austin

It's been a while, let's make a Catalog of life.

The last few months have been a swing down and then back up.  Tyler was having some trouble in school, in the way that kids his age usually do.  He was hitting other kids and not listening well, and so we met with the teachers to see what we could do about it.  We ended up trying a lot of things, and some combination worked.  Jess spent some time with him in his classroom, we started a chart of good behavior at home that he could use to get Ice Cream on Fridays, and one of the kids that we knew he was having trouble with ended up leaving the class.  Something in there helped him out enough that we have not been having nearly so many problems now.  He still loses control occasionally, but not too often.  And at his age, that's kinda expected.  They don't have the neurology to evaluate and hold back an impulse.  He's just not set up for it.  It would be like expecting him to run a 5k with me.  He's just not equipped for it yet.  But he's getting better day by day.

In August he heads off to PUBLIC SCHOOL.  I'm reserving judgement until I see what it's like.  I have a little bit of optimism just because he'll be starting with a few friends he knows from the street, and hopefully that will help him put it in a positive light.  But I've heard from parents that have had good experiences with public schools and parents that have had terrible experiences with public schools.  It depends a lot on the school, and the district, and especially the teacher.  We'll see how he does, and adjust accordingly.  That's right, we don't have a plan. We're winging it.  That's what parents do.  They just make it seem like it's part of the plan with their steady voice and noble bearing.  We're panicking inside.

Casey is super cute.  She's rounded the corner on Talking and is now interested in parroting a lot of words and picking up new ones as quick as she can.  She's even put together a few ideas of her own from different words she knows.  She'll probably be an author.  She likes to sing, too.  We do a pretty adorable rendition of "little boxes".  I should record it.

Oh, Mom and Dad got me an Audio Interface for Christmas which allows me to use my fancy microphones to record the kids.  I have done so to catalog how goddamn adorable their voices are.  I should post up some stuff in podcast form.  The audio quality is really nice.

This has also allowed me to start doing "Let's Play" videos with Tyler.  I edit them down a bit to just the funny parts, and I do it all in Microsoft Movie Maker (Super low-level stuff) so it's not like I'm planning to burn up the Internet with my new hilarious Content.  At least, not right away.  But it does make me pretty cool that I can record Mincraft Let's Plays with my kid.  I'm a cool dad.

Jess and I hit a rough patch for a while, but we're getting better.  I want to have a record of when it happened for to remind myself later.

Jessie's mom lives in Austin now?  I guess I don't know when I wrote the last one of these, but having her around for babysitting has been great.  Jess and I go out for a lot more dates.  We've even been going out to Adult Skate at playland Skate Center.  I'm getting pretty good.  It's great exercise, too.

On Friday I take Tyler to his first Martial Arts class.  It starts out very introductory.  Next week we can start attending classes.  We'll see how it goes.  I'm excited for the exercise as well as doing something fun with Tyler.  He tends to not want to try new stuff, though, so it will be an experiment for both of us.  Oh, and I'm taking the class too.  I'm not missing the opportunity to break stuff with my super strong hands.

Tyler had his birthday, so he's 5.  Casey will turn 2 soon.  I have been a parent for 5 years.  College didn't take this long.

I'm working on painting a big diorama for ReaperCon this year.  Which is in October, and that's good, since I'll be painting this thing for a long, long time.

And now it's late and I want to go to bed.  So good night, see everyone in another few months.

-N

Biannual Blogging

Things kinda fell apart there for a while for me. I've been doting around with various forms of antidepressants for a while and without entirely noticing it I had fallen back pretty hard with my attempted solution. It's meant something of a personal reset, but I think I'm doing better now, and Jessie agrees.

I'm much less busy now. I don't run as often or as long, and I haven't touched my VR project in a couple of months. It's intentional. I wanted to spend some time just relaxing with my free time and seeing what that did for me, instead of turning every moment of the day into currency to be spent against future happiness. Current happiness has some value too. So for the last few months I've just been playing video games in the evening. Because I want to. I don't have to do job hunting or skill developing or anything else I don't want to do. I just pick something I enjoy and I'm doing that for a while. It's gone well.

I'm back on antidepressants as well, and it's helping. The side effects aren't as bad as the symptoms they help with, so there's no reason to complain. It does seem to make everything just a little bit easier to process, a little less of a burden. I like that.

Hobbies...I'm trying them out slowly. I'm less interested in finding some activity that will bring me some measure of bliss I'm just...trying stuff. I'm taking a portrait drawing class. It's all right. It's not making me think I need to get seriously into portraiture, but I like taking it. After the class is over, maybe I'll take another. Or maybe I'll try something else. I'm trying not to be so damn intense about it.

Work...I dunno, man. I still don't like it at all, but I'm trying to complain about it less. They pay me a lot of money, I try to focus on that. I'll work on things in bits and pieces and see what I can do with my career, but it's not worth wrecking myself over. Nothing is.

Fran lives here now. We bought a condo for her and helped her move over from Florida. It's great to have the help. We get to go out on date nights and she helps with chores, and when the kids get into regular school, critically, she'll help to pick them up. It's expensive, and our finances have taken enough of a hit that I'm eying our budget more carefully. Date night is a nice perk though.

To the kids: Tyler continues to improve his attitude in fits and starts. He got really angry a lot for a while there, but has gotten better at managing his anger. Growing older helps, as does a buffet of other things we have tried, I assume. Also moving up into the next class where there is more to do and more to challenge him. His reading is definitely coming along. Every time he reads me a book he gets a piece of chocolate. I'm willing to keep this up indefinitely if needed. He has been carrying a big plastic t-rex around with him lately. He asked if the t-rex could sit at the dinner table with us today. I said yes, and the t-rex was quite well behaved. Also Tyler ate two bowls of Squash soup, which is nice.

We have started to play some video games together, too. He likes to play minecraft and to explore and jump into lava. He gets a really big smile when I let him be in control and he walks us forward into a pit of lava and we lose all our stuff. I don't mind, it's a big smile.

Casey is a full-on Toddler now. She walks around a lot, and even likes to walk instead of being carried sometimes (because that's what her big brother is doing.) She is starting to talk more and more:

PPPPPPtttt = Please

Peessssss = Please also, but with Less spitting. I try to encourage this one

Ma-Me Ma-Me = Give me that!

Raaar = The sound that lions and Bears and Dinosaurs make

“I know” = What daddy says to her when she is fussy, and what she says in response

She's a pretty champion Babbler. She likes to hold books and make lots of sounds at you, which is what she assumes you are doing when you read a book to her. She also gives kisses and hugs and nuzzles on command, and likes to wave hello and bye-bye to strangers, which is the cutest goddamn thing in the world. Also she wears pigtails sometimes which are so cute they should be illegal. She's flipped over to liking mommy more now, which does happen with kids, but it was nice when she thought I was the best. I'm sure she'll be back eventually.

Micronews:

I've started eating Soylent for Breakfast and lunch. Being as I have been eating the same thing for breakfast and the same thing (nearly) for lunch every day for the past decade or more, it's not a huge adjustment.

We lost a set of keys, and getting car keys replaced is real damn expensive.

Jess may get Lasic!

Next blog should be in 2016 sometime...

-N

An entry from Texas

Yes, I know, I'm staggeringly infrequent, but I'm busy as hell. You have no idea. Between work, kids, exercise, and learning how to do VR stuff, I have no time left to just relax. Blogging is, as you can imagine, pretty far down on the list, but I like having these to look back on, especially as the kids grow up.

Tyler, first, has turned 4. He's growing bigger all the time, asking more questions (and more questions that make sense) and is generally more pleasant than he was at three. This doesn't mean he's not still a complete monster at times. (Like today, for example). But the trendline is going up, which is good. He's starting to read basic books, which is nice. He's hard to motivate, though. If he doesn't know he likes something, he's loathe to try it. Reading, therefore, is mostly a function of figuring out how to motivate him to want to try something new. He does it little bits at a time, though, and we have a lot of time to continue raising him, so I think odds are good he'll get it down eventually. Especially when he figures out that reading is the key to figuring out how to play video games. I think that will help a lot.

Casey is growing up fast too. This week, in fact, she's starting her transition up to her toddler class! It's sort of a baby+ class, actually, she only has 5 kids in her class, and they are all kids that have moved up over the past couple of weeks, so the fact that none of them can really walk means it's not a full on toddler class. But, critically, this does mean our day care bill goes down a little bit, which is nice. This also means, potentially, that we have passed the maximum amount we will ever have to pay for day care. (Unless you count college as day care, which might be a fair assessment.)

Her first birthday party up in Washington was very nice, and we all got together for an impromptu Preecs family reunion. She had a blast eating through her cake (she went at it with a lot more gusto than Tyler did) and was very smiley at everyone. She's a quite smiley lady.

Her molars are finally coming in, and she isn't happy about it at all. Luckily her pacifier does a good job of soothing her past mouth troubles, but that whole process looks pretty uncomfortable, so I can understand some fussiness and clinginess.

She's very close to walking, too. She wants to come up to you and grab your thumb with one hand (one hand only, she was doing two for a while, but has realized she can get by with one and that frees the other hand to grab stuff, so now she insists on one hand. Unless you're helping her stand up.) and walk around the house grabbing things.

She's starting to communicate a little bit too. Whenever she drops things over the side of her high chair she says “oh oh”. And when she asks if she is all done she sometimes says “Aaaa Daaaan”. Or sometimes “aaah aaaaah aaaa daaaa aaaa”. It's a work in progress. But it's seriously cute.

I'm working on new stuff. I've decided I want to be a VR developer. Or perhaps just a Technical Artist, which is a profession that I've just made up that involves doing the technical side of creating visual effects in computer graphics. Things like animation, automated modeling, stuff like that. I don't know if that's something that people actually do, and frankly I don't know if it's something I really want to do either, but It's something I'm trying, and it feels like progress towards something, which is important, because it gives me hope. Whether or not anything actually comes from all this work is less important, at times, than feeling like I'm just doing something to advance myself in a direction of better happiness. As opposed to just...stagnating.

To this end, I attended a VR (Virtual Reality) game Jam a few weeks ago. What is a game Jam? Glad you asked. Video games are, at base, computer programs. And a Game Jam is when people get together for a concentrated period of time to see how much 'game' you can make in just a couple of days of work. The things that come out of them are often very rudementary, proof-of-concept things, but some serious games have come out of game jams, and it forces you to see if your game concept works, and allows you to get good feedback on it.

I didn't go to create my own VR game. I went for two reasons. 1) to Meet People and 2) To see if I could help on someone elses game in order to increase my experience with Unity programming. (Unity is the software that allows you to program and script your game. It's what most everyone is using to create things for VR.)

It was incredibly stressful, but I'm super glad I went. I was able to hang with people that clearly had more Unity background than I do, and I got to make VR beer pong, which isn't going to set the world on fire anytime soon, but it was a simple, easy-to-understand game concept, and I was able to help and learn a lot about what I do and what I don't know how to do in Unity. Plus we got to demo our game to a bunch of people, get some good feedback, and play around with nifty VR equipment that won't be on sale until later this year. I felt pretty fancy. There's still a lot of work to do if I'm going to try and make a serious career out of this, but like I said, it's progress, and it feels like moving forward.

I'm working on another VR music video (in my 'free time', so VERY slowly), I'll try to post some screen shots of things, I'm sure moms and dads of all generations would love to see my early, early prototype stuff.

Micro news!

Going camping this weekend. Should be hot, but also *s'mores*.

Jess is still awesome at hockey.

I've been running some pretty long distances lately. 3 miles used to be my limit. Now a 'short run' for me is around 4 or 5. My record long run is 11 miles. I think I'll try to do a half marathon in the fall sometime when it's cooler.

I usually weigh less than 200 lbs now. Which is pretty impressive. If I ever get down to 190 I'll be at high school weight. Except, of course, with more muscle now.

Casey is getting weaned off of bottles and has grown out of her cloth diapers. This vastly reduces the amount of chores I have to do when I get home. Kids still are a lot of work, though.

There are a lot of video games coming out, and I don't have the time to play almost any of them. That's how I know I'm serious about using my time for exercising and programming.

That will do for now. I'll try to update everything again before another three months go by. I'm sure there will be great stories to tell between now and then.

-N

Tyler's Birthday Party, et. al.

We just got back from Tyler's fourth Birthday party.  We had it at 'pump it up'.  We have been there several times before, but never for one of ours.  Tyler had a great time, though we had to take care of a few rough patches when he got hungry.  Lots of running around and bouncing.  Casey had a good time too.  She liked watching people and watching the big bounce houses and watching the walls and everything so much that eventually she just got exhausted and fell asleep on my shoulder.  Very sweet of her.  We had chocolate cake, everyone had a good time, and the whole house except for me is napping now.  I went out and raked leaves.  I think I need to do some gardening this weekend too.  It's spring, which lasts for like 2 weeks here in Texas.  Should take advantage of the outdoors now that its tolerable.

Update on the kids!  Tyler seems to be slowly growing out of his obnoxious phase.  Jess and I were talking and she was lamenting that he was growing out of the 'cute' phase.  He's not going to be three anymore.  I laughed at her.  I hated three!  It was the worst!  Glad for it to be behind us.  Here's to better years to come.  Tyler is also old enough to have proper Legos at this point, which is great for me, cause now I can buy them under the cover of buying them for him (they will not always be for him.

Casey is growing up big, too.  She can cruise with one hand, and is *desperate* to be able to walk like her big brother, has been for months.  She wants in on walking as fast as she can.  She's getting there, too.  Her legs are getting stronger all the time.  I think as soon as she figures out the last bits of her balance, she's be unstoppable.

Casey's first word was MaMa, this is true.  But her *favorite* word, at least for now.  Is Dada.  She is 100% Daddy's girl.  Whenever she sees me she leans out and stretches out her arms so I can pick her up.  There are times when she will let mom get her, but just as often, she turns right back around and tries to get on me.  Which is nice, I didn't get that as much with Tyler, so it's good to have a kid that thinks you are the greatest in the world.  She also has started to babble a bit, and even says, I'm convinced, "Tyler".  Which sounds a lot more like "Da-duuuh".  When Tyler leaves the dinner table, Casey always wants him to come back.  She likes that older brother, and Tyler likes that he has someone that wants to pay attention to him all of the time.  He roughhouses with her a little, but is careful, more or less.  I have to teach him to pay attention to Casey's face and sounds so he knows when to lay off.

I have decided to become a VR developer.  This has meant that in the past few months, I've bought an Oculus Rift dev kit, learned C#, learned Unity, and have been modeling things in Blender.  I am, of course, not *great* at any of these yet, I only get to work on things after everyone else in the house is asleep.  But there was a VR Austin meetup group that I took a little VR music video to and got a lot of positive feedback.  People liked it, simple as it is.  I learned a few nice things, and have ideas for what the next iteration of my music video will be.  My plan is to do this until I either get good enough that people will pay me to make VR music videos for their band (hello, Austin!) or that someone hires me to work on VR stuff instead of defense stuff.  It might work, or it might not, but it feels like I'm *doing* something, and so I don't feel hopeless anymore.

Micro-News!

We got a big fancy TV and moved the 'old' TV upstairs in front of the treadmill.
I've been running a LOT.  My long distance record is 9.5 miles.  I'm considering signing up for a half marathon at some point.  Jess is signed up for a 10K next month, because she has started running long distances too.  Not sure what sparked this, but I have an app called "Zombies, Run" which keeps me well motivated to run more often and run longer when I go.  Able Township needs me!
I'm playing *way* fewer video games now. All my time is spent raising kids, working, programming, running, or catching up with Jessie.  Not much time for anything else.
Jess is a manager now.  She is super important.
We are considering the purchase of additional real estate, but there's a lot of math involved before we know if it will work.
Casey has her 8 front teeth in now.
We will be traveling up to Seattle soon to visit family, that will be nice.
Went to the Austin Rodeo.  Tyler had a great time on all the rides.  Pig race was fun too.  No cowboy hat for me, yet, though.

Till next time,

-N

Casey can do new things now

Casey is getting older, day by day, and she's started to pick up a few tricks.  Tyler does too, of course.  I thought I'd write down a few because it's always fun to go back to see how they grew up.

Casey has been calling me dadadada for a while.  When I come pick her up from day care, she gives me a smile and crawls over to me, then lifts up hands in a clear sign of 'pick me up'.  Then she looks at me for a while and says "dadada..." a few times with a slightly confused look on her face.  It's very nice of her.

She's also started in with Mamama now, too.  She said mama before dada, but I think I'm the first one she actually spoke to.  

She has started to mimic us.  The game we had where we would clap whenever she shook the container of beano has evolved into the game where we clap for her and then she claps for us.  Then she claps for us and we reciprocate.  She also likes to mimic our head shakes.

She also did one of the most toddler things I've sever seen her do.  I was munching on an apple and I figured I'd give it to her to chew on.  I had eaten around the sides so it was vaguely bottle-shaped.  She was really into it for a while, she liked the flavor and could get her hands around it, but the problem was that she knew what she was supposed to do.  When you get something like that in your hands, you get your mouth around one end and suck on it, and then food comes out.  Well she tried that for about 3 minutes, grabbing and sucking, grabbing and sucking...but no food was coming out.  Then all at once, she stopped, put the apple down, and started crying.  She wanted food, and she knew how she was supposed to get it, but it wasn't working right.  It was very sweet and heartbreaking, so we gave her some apple for lunch.

Tyler is learning new things too.  Here are his jokes:

1) Do you have a mustache?  Because I mustache you a question.
2) Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana who?
    Orange.
    Orange who?
    Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

He's also started playing with Legos instead of just duplos.  He likes the minifigures a lot, especially Emmet and Wildstyle.  I've sent off for box of random lego blocks so I can build things that aren't just out of a regular set.

Other things:

1) I'm going to PAX this weekend!  The Penny Arcade Expo.  It's my first time going, and it's just an hour down the road.  I'm quite excited, hopefully I'll have as much fun here as I do at ReaperCon.
2)  I have also come to realize I haven't painted any Minis since last ReaperCon.  I should either start or just figure I'm too busy for it for now.
3) Because I've also started practicing the Piano again.  I've gone through my book of beginning songs, and am considering getting a better keyboard and taking proper lessons.
4) A reorg happened at work, and Jessie is a manager now!  Good for her!  I'm still in test.

-N

Orlando, Part 7

Legoland!  A short drive, but we made it without incident thanks to the Ipad.  Let's talk about what we did!

My favorite part about Legoland was that it was fast, all day long.  No long lines.  I hate those.  We did a dragon roller coaster twice (Tyler has become a big fan of coasters), a few smaller rides, and then a shooting Gallery with moving stuff and legos.  Jess and I tied, and Tyler didn't get any.  We are really good at rides.  

After lunch, we saw Wildstyle!  Tyler went up and nerviously waved hi for a while, we got some pictures, as you do, and then we found a place where you got to *build* with legos.  Tyler really liked that one.  We made a bunch of lego cars and raced them.  Tyler named his car "Serious Guy".  They had a place where you could build buildings with Duplos and then try and shake them down with earthquake power, but what I mostly learned from my experiments was that Duplos are really strong.  

Then Tyler got to drive a car.  It was all very controlled, but he definitely did it.  He made turns and avoided obstacles, unless mom asked him to wave hi.  It's not good to drive distracted.  We were quite proud.  

We did a bunch more rides, they move you around fast.  

Then was miniland, and that was neat.  That's where they have all the lego replicas of Vegas, the shuttle, Star Wars, various cities, it was really neat to see the stuff.  Also they had buttons that made things move.  

They had a waterski show we got to watch, too.  They had pirates, and action, and people going off jumps.  Neat.  There were fireworks at the end, and they only scared Tyler a little.  

And, of course, there were lots of legos to see.  Tyler and Jess got some ice cream while I wandered through shops.  Lots of things to like, but nothing that made me want to buy it right away.  I would have had to get it home afterwards.  I did end up getting a few small things to play with, but Jess is right, it's too small to have those around the house while Casey is learning to crawl.  Cats knock them off tables, they end up all over the place, and Casey is definitely at the stage where those things are too small and probably dangerous for her.  Soon, though.  I have some saved up for later.  

Then we came back to the hotel, got some sleep, and flew back home.  We had some fun at the airport, too.  Tyler made some new friends and drove cars and Dinosaur puppets around with them.  It was a good way to spend the time before the flight.  

Of course, then the kids got sick on the flight home, and we spent much of the past week with them at home fighting off fevers and bad attitudes.  It's definitely the most exhausting vacation I've ever had.  

-N

Orlando now 6 of them

Did you know that Epcot is still a thing?  I'm convinced that it only still exists because of 1) corporate sponsorship and 2) that sweet golf ball.  Anyway, we went.

The first thing we did was a ride where you got to 'design' your own car and then test drive it. Tyler did a pretty good job designing the car with a little help from dad.  He made a big truck with a jet engine and huge wheels.  Also there were flames on the side.  And it was green.  Then we got to go through a coaster.  Tyler was pretty into the coaster, especially when it went outside and went all fast.  Then he got a score for his car, and we went into the 'check out these cars' area, brought to you by Dodge.  Which was actually pretty cool, because one of Tyler's favorite things to do is to just sit in the drivers seat of a car.

We went on Mission: Space next.  It's in a centrifuge!  It was pretty intense, actually.  I clenched my legs, just in case.  Then you had to push some buttons or else...well, or else the computer did it for you.  I was curious what would happen if everyone on your 'team' deliberately tried to fail everything.  We probably would have still made it to Mars.

While Jess went on the ride, Tyler and I sat around and ate goldfish.  We took turns.

We went to 'The Seas" next.  There's a Nemo ride, and then an aquarium!  I liked the critters to see.  Eels, lionfish, cuttlefish, even a dolphin.  I had good fun.  I liked the part where they tried to make Sharks less scary. Cause they are just fish, after all.

We stopped for lunch and had to put up with a tantrum, but after that we got to go on Soarin', which is the dumbest name for a ride ever.  Kinda fun, though.  It's like Imax with a big moving chair.  Then a boat ride through their experimental greenhouse.  I hope some of their experiments work, because they look pretty neat.  Also, Tilapia!  Yum.

A few other rides.  Went through the imagination station where they actually used the phrase "next stop: imagination".  We decided to skip Captain EO, too weird even for us.  We saw some other stuff, and then decided to call it early.  Epcot is pretty strange.

We went to a Rainforest cafe with the family.  We had to do walk along Downtown Disney, which we had to do slowly, cause of grandparents, but I had Casey on my chest, and she was very cute, and was holding on to my fingers a lot.  We walked through the shops for a while, and then had some food at the Cafe.  Tyler was clearly concerned by the animatronic monkeys, but after a few storms he settled down.  He needed me to cover his ears for the first rainstorm, though.

I checked out the art store on the way out, which was pretty neat, but certainly too expensive, and then we went home and fell asleep.

Orlando the Fifth

The next day we went to Universal Islands of adventure, A similar thing, just with different intellectual properties involved.

Jess and I rode the Hulk coaster first, definitely too fast for Tyler, but we both really liked it.  Then we got to the Spider Man Ride.  No line, thank goodness, because we rode it like 5 times in a row.  It was really neat, it had 3d stuff, bookended by real props.  It made for a terrifically impressive ride.  Tyler loved it, though he mostly closed his eyes for the parts with the bad guys.  In the middle of all those rides, we went across the street to meet with the real, live, Spider Man.  He was pretty great.  Had spider-banter and everything.  He even did it for the spanish-speaking family in front of us.  Tyler told spider-man he had just been on his ride.  He also told spider-man that the bad guys "were using potty words outside the potty".  This is how you calibrate the moral compass of a three-year-old.

We rode a ride called the Pternadon flier, which you had to be *under* a certain height to ride.  But you got to bring an adult, so Tyler went twice and took each parent once.  Kind of him.  Then we got churros.

Next stop was Harry Potter Land!  It's really pretty looking.  They had a big Hogwarts building with a ride inside that Jess and I went on.  Similar to spider man, you went back and forth between video screens and real things, both of which looked pretty great.  The ride moved a lot as well, it was fun.  While Jess and I alternated rides, they had a ride-share room that was playing the Harry Potter movie.  Tyler was entranced.

There was a smaller roller coaster next door that was perfect for Tyler, he went on it three times.  Having less busy days at the park certainly makes it easier to enjoy yourself.  Then we got lunch.  They had butterbeer and Pumpkin Fizz.  The Fizz was pretty good, mostly just a soda, but with a nice flavor.  I'm pretty sure butterbeer might just be pumpkin fizz with foamed butter on top.  Certainly looks like beer, but tastes like candy.  I can see why they'd put it in the book.

Jess went on another ride while I looked around at the shops.  I bought a crap-ton of candy, but little else.  I considered the wands, but it didn't seem right to buy someone else's wand.  You'd want to make your own.  Anyway, while I was looking at things, the park got hit by a *downpour*.  I got trapped under an awning and ended up getting my shoes really wet.  Jess managed to ride it out with Tyler in the entrance of a bathroom.  Eventually the rain passed and we went on a roller coaster called the Dragon.  It was pretty fast and fun, though it took us some time to figure out how to reconnect for the parent-swap.

Then off to Dr. Seuss Land.  Which was neat, because Tyler finally got all the references.  We did a few rides there, and the Cat in the Hat ride is surprisingly creepy.  Tyler liked it enough to ride it twice, though.

Next we went off to a stuntman spectacular called Sinbad.  It started off with a firecracker bang that scared Tyler pretty good.  He covered his eyes and ears for a while, but eventually opened up and watched with wonder for the rest.  He got really excited when Sinbad picked up a sword.  Anyway there was fun, and stunts, and more fireworks at the end, but Tyler had a great time.  We met the stunt-people at the end, too.  Tyler asked if the Bad Guys were good now.  We told him yes.

A final thing called Poseidon's adventure, a neat tour through a few rooms with clever tricks.  My favorite was when they flashed you with light and when your eyesight came back, you were in a completely different room.  That was a neat trick.

Jess and Tyler wrapped up the day by going on Spider Man two more times (total of seven!) while I looked around the shops for anything interesting.  I didn't find anything of note.  On the way home we picked up Pizza, and went to sleep early.

Orlando thing 4

Our plan was to go back for more Magic Kingdom this day, but we decided to take it easy and go to the park later, getting as much sleep as we could after our gigantic roller coaster party the night before.  We had one more breakfast  with the Halls and sent them on their way home.  We relaxed around the hotel for a bit, too, making some plans and recharging batteries.

Then we went back to Magic Kingdom for a shortish day.  We went on the Winnie the Pooh ride a couple of times, which was nice because they had things for him to do in the line.  He liked the ride, too, which was funny because it reminded me a lot of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, which scared the pants off of him last time we went to Disney.  So he's growing.

I liked taking Tyler on the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse.  For one, he really likes treehouses, and I got to try and explain the story to him.  It's a fun story.  I got to do that a lot on other rides, too.  There's a lot of disney lore and Tyler hasn't seen most of it.  Peter pan?  No idea.  Brave?  Not seen.  Lots of stuff like that.

After a few more rides we had lunch, then had to wait out a bout of rain.  In the afternoon we got to meet Mikey. He talks now!  I don't know how they queue it, but Mikey had a few phrases he could say, and his mouth moved and everything.  Tyler was mostly silent, but we got some nice pictures, and when we were done Tyler saw some Mikey dolls and got really excited, like this was a Mikey Mouse that was safe to talk with.  He played with the doll and shook his hand and everything.  It was cute.

When we stepped outside we were in the middle of a parade, so we stopped and watched.  There were some really impressive floats.  I liked the Tangled one a lot, the princess had a frying pan, and the guys were on swinging hammers.  We made our second trip to Splash Mountain after that and then departed the park.

Afternoon dinner was a thank-you dinner to Grandma and Grammie for watching Casey all day for us.  They insisted that they didn't need thanks, and that the Grandbaby kisses were thanks enough.  Still, we went out for some dinner, got home, and all fell asleep again.  We did that a lot, it was a fun vacation, but quite tiring.

Orlando, Post #3

The next day (Monday, for those keeping track) was all about the Magic Kingdom.  We started in the morning with the myself, Jess, and Tyler, and then continued in the evening with Shannon and her family, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

We got there nice and early, and the park was largely unoccupied.  We took the opportunity to go on a Buzz Lightyear ride a few times.  You get a zapper and get to zap bad guys along a big, indoor track.  Tyler got 1200 points, which isn't bad until you consider that I got nearly 200,000!  I am the best at shooting things!  I didn't brag at Tyler too much.  We went on the ride twice cause there was no line.  My favorite way to do Disney rides: quickly.

We also went on the Tomorrowland Peoplemover, which was a nice tour of the area.  Another ride in the middle that's essentially just the Dumbo ride again (there are a lot of those, but Tyler does like them) and then a track where you can drive a car, though there is a guide bar in the middle so you don't crash into anything.  That ride was terrible, everytime Tyler hit the bar, it jerked the wheel out of his hands.  I took over the steering eventually and got us back home, but we were done with that one.  Also, gasoline powered cars in Tomorrowland?  Lame.

Mickey's Philharmagic was nice.  It was a 3D show with some puffs of air and a lot of classical Disney tunes.  The music was, as always, great to hear, even if the 3D was wonky.  Tyler's favorite part was where Donald got shot at us at the end of the movie and when the house lights came on, you turned around to see an animatronic Donald Butt stuck in the wall.  He laughed at that.

Small world, Tyler may have even remembered that one from before.  We saw the big clock at the end chime and tell the time.  Tyler wanted to have that happen every time, but we never got the timing right again.

We got some lunch (Disney is really, really good at feeding lots of people) and then Jess and Tyler went on a carousel while I wandered around and looked at stuff.  I ran into a parade in the central area that was quite insistent that 1) it was time to party and 2) you needed to put your hands up.

Then we went on a Roller Coaster with Tyler.  Definitely the most extreme ride he'd ever gone on, but he *loved* it.  We went on it twice.  He had a huge smile and kept saying "whee" as we zipped around corners.  It was called "Barnstorming", in case you're curious to look it up, but Tyler was a huge fan (and just tall enough to ride on it.  40 inches turned out be a magic number for him, lots of fun rides at that height.)

Then we went on Pirates of the Caribbean, which Tyler liked, and then Splash Mountain, with may have been his favorite ride of all, surprisingly enough for us.  He really liked the big drop at the end, though he closed his eyes because he "didn't want to get wet".  The main reason he didn't get wet is that he is pretty short, and most of the water just went right over him.

We were exhausted at this point, and because we took a shuttle in, we just took a taxi back.  We left the kids with Grandma, and, because we are crazy people, took the Hall family and went right back for a evening of more Disney.

It's called "Very Merry Christmas", and they limit the number of people that can go and keep the park open till midnight, which means you can go on lots of rides very quickly, if you want.  They also have free Cookies and Hot Chocolate, which we got right after we got some coffee, because we needed the energy.

Also, we ended up having a waffle with Nutella for dinner.  Not well balanced, but we had rides to do.

We did all the fast rides that Tyler wouldn't be able to do: the new 7 Dwarves ride which was not terribly exciting, but had a lot of neat things to look at.  We did all three of the 'Mountains' (Space, Thunder, and Splash) twice each.  I think I liked space mountain best, because Shannon kept shrieking at all the twists and turns.  The longest time was involved in simply walking from the exit back to the entrance again.

We were outdoors for one of the fireworks displays and took a moment to observe and wonder.  We had a nice spot, in between all the sites where they set off the fireworks.  Some of them were so big and so loud that I could actually feel them a little bit when they went off.  A fantastic finish and we even gave them some applause before running off to the next ride.

We completed the evening fully exhausted, doing a few last rides before piling into the truck to head back to the hotel.  We fell asleep on the drive home, but didn't get to sleep until about 1:00 in the morning.

Casey was hungry at 4.

Orlando, Part 2

Today was our Disney's Animal Kingdom day.  It's a neat little companion park.  We got up early, had some magic pancakes, and drove over with all of us (including Shannon and Family) in the Car.  It was really nice to have a big car on this trip.

We actually got there a little before the park opened, so we hung out by the Christmas tree in the entrance and had some coffee.  The place selling coffee also had gigantic Doughnuts and Cookies.  I declined, but we ended up getting a cookie to share with everyone on the way out of the park.

They had some neat things to see on the way in, people were standing around with huge spiders in boxes and neat bones for the kids to touch.  I liked that part.  The first ride we went on was one of those 3d+things poking you and air spraying you theatres called "it's hard to be a bug".  I liked it, but Tyler was terrified of the whole experience, and that was before the bugs attacked us.  Fortunately, he was gone by then, he would have really been spooked by that.

Expedition to Everest was their big coaster, and we went on that with the Hall Boys.  Tyler was too small, but we figured out you could do a parent swap and the second parent got to take two other people along, so we parlayed that into a couple of extra rides for interested kids.

They had a more Kid-friendly area nearby that we went to.  It had a dumbo-style ride that Tyler went on three times and really liked.  Nearby there was another ride that Tyler was tall enough for, a ride through a dark, animatronic dinoscape.  It moved a lot.  We told Tyler it might jostle him a bit, so he said the rid was a little "jossly".  Was dark and spooky for him, too, but he felt brave for having done it.  We got him a latex dino puppet to celebrate.

Nemo the musical.  A 30-minute stage production about the nemo movie.  Fun to watch, though Tyler wet his pants and had to use the  restroom halfway through.   Interesting staging tricks to move the fish around the stage.

The Safari was next, a wide, segregated area with animals that they let roam 'free' and big jeeps that drive through.  We saw a lot of neat animals, Rhino, Zebra, Giraffes, and several more whose name I don't remember.  We took lots of pictures, but I can't figure out how to get the blogger app to upload, so I'll have to share them another way.

We took a train to another area about conservation, the train ride was neat to see all the cages and other centers that they use to take care of the animals from the Safari.  At the end of the ride they had some more animal attractions: cute little tamarind monkeys, a petting zoo, and a presentation with a few animals.  I like any place with a petting zoo, and the cow they had was very friendly.

They had a Bird show as well that we went to.  Some of them flew *very* close to my head.  My favorite was actually during the pre-show where a parrot had been trained to take bottles and cans to the recycle bins, one flew by my head so close I could have touched him.  The show itself had some great birds, too.  Parrots, a hawk, an Owl, and many more.  Tyler liked it the best when one of the guys came out from the stage and sat on a bench next to us.

Then we caught a Lion King stage show that had clearly been inspired by Cirque de Solei.  They had some animatronics that were *stunningly* impressive.  They had a Simba that moved so often and with such detail that I was several times convinced their had to be someone inside.  I don't think their was, though.  Jessie's favorite part was watching Tyler's excited expression. He liked the performance so much he actually clapped on his own.

We did a couple more parent-swap rides on the Everest Coaster as the sun fell, and then we all made our way back home, put the kids to sleep, and then fell asleep soon after.

-N

Orlando, Day 1

I like writing these, mostly for me.  It's always fun to look back and remember them.later on.  So, first day!

Tyler spent most of the morning being a big jerk.  We had to put him in time out a couple of times, but after lunch and a nap he calmed down.  We picked him up from his nap and went right to the plane to go to Orlando!

Flight went really well, our plane had TVs on the back of the seats, so Tyler pretty much just watched TV the entire way.  I got to watch Lucy.  Fun movie, dumb premise.  Casey slept on Jessie most of the way.  Jessie didn't seem to mind.

When we landed, Tyler ran up and gave Grandma a big running hug.  He's getting good at that.

We all got to the hotel and fell asleep.  We set Tyler up with a long sofa mattress in the closet.  He really liked having his own room.

The next morning, we woke up and had breakfast at the hotel.  The place had 'magic pancakes'.  It was a couple of robots that just sat there and would spit out a hot, fresh pancake every 20 seconds or so as needed.  Tyler really liked the magic pancakes.  I saw the thing break once at it just spit out one, huge pancake.

Our first stop on this, our mostly 'relaxing and hanging out with family' day, was just Downtown Disney.  We took both the kids and Grammie and had to park a little far away from where the action was, but our first stop was the Lego store.  We stayed there for like an hour.  They had a thing in front where you could build your own Lego Car and race it down a ramp.  Tyler was a huge fan.  The rest of the time he spent inside at the place where you can make your own Minifigures.  He made a few and we got them for him.  He really liked having "lego guys' to play with.  He would attach things to their feet and say they were Lord Business.  You have to have seen the Lego Movie to get the Joke.

We went back home to meet Anne-Marie, Jessie's cousin, and their little one.  He's one-and-a-bit, so he can walk but not talk, and he thought Tyler was the Bees Knees.  When we had to put Tyler down for a nap, he cried because his friend was gone.  Eventually, though, Shannon, Jessie's Sister, and her two older kids showed up.  They played with the little cousin.

We all went out to a nearby park to take some pictures and let the kids play.  Organizing that many young kids is always a challenge, but we managed.  I haven't looked at the pictures yet, actually.  I probably should.  Anyway, the kids had a blast on the playground and got out a lot of energy.  Then dinner!

We had reservations for Bucca Di Beppo, but as it turns out the place we were going was in a mall, and for those of you looking at a calendar, this was Black Friday.  Fortunately, we gave ourselves plenty of leeway, and once we got past the traffic getting out of the place, parking wasn't that hard.  We made it right on time.  Good for us.

We were at the Pope Table, which is huge and round and has a couple of neat features.  1) A huge lazy Susan that all the food goes on so everyone can eat it.  2) The Pope's head in the middle (yes, the current one) 3)  The top is arched so that the person directly across from you gets your voice funneled right into your ears.  It's really odd, but neat.  We ordered so goddamn much food you have no idea.  We put a pretty good dent in it before we all got stuffed, and then jessie ordered dessert.  She got a brownie sundae the size of Casey.  Collectively we polished it off, but it took some work.

We were loud and laughed a lot, and since our table was special, we got featured on the 'intro tour' a few times.  We started toasting people when they came around for the tour.  We got a lot of smiles from the wait staff for that.  Also I got to give our server a big tip, which felt nice.

Home and food comas for all.  Anne-Marie drove home with her family, but Shannon and her family stayed in the hotel near us and joined us for a few Disney days.

-N

Tyler and the Shingwovel

Tyler invented a new word, I thought you all should know about it, because it's for something that I'm pretty sure no default word exists for.  You know that thing you use to wrap up Christmas lights, one that has long sides?  Do you know what the word for that thing is?  I do.

Feel free to use this word as you need, when defeating bad guys and putting them in jail, or what have you.  Just make sure you credit Tyler as appropriate.  It's his word.  

-N

More Kids, by Volume

I still have the same number of kids, but it's struck me that you are continually getting more kid available.  Especially in those early months, you get pounds and pounds of kid added on every month.  They're older now, and doing different things, would you like to hear about them?

Casey is still the smiliest baby in the world.  She still only has her two bottom teeth, but she will show those puppies to *anyone*.  She loves to see new faces and give them her biggest smile, it really melts the heart.  She's crawling, now, too.  Properly crawling, even.  She had been doing some productive army-crawl stuff, but now she gets up on all four limbs and covers *distance*.  We are officially at the point where you have to be careful, because the place where you put her down may not be where you need to go to pick her up.  This effect can be carefully mitigated by surrounding her with toys, so that if she tries to escape there is something to distract her attention and get stuffed into her mouth.  Swords, oddly enough, are a big hit in this regard.

I'll tell you the cutest way that this shows up, though.  You'll be doing something else, either on your own or with Tyler, and tiny fingers will grab your toes.  That part is pretty nice.

Also, she likes to crawl up to my pants and put her mouth (her always so-drooly mouth) on my pants.  I'm not sure if it's a kiss or if she's trying to eat me.  Though given how she interacts with nearly everything at this point, I suspect it's the eating one.

The one thing we're a little concerned with is that she's not made much linguistic progress.  She's still pretty limited to raspberries, vowels, and "kkkkkkkkkk".  Which I guess is a consonant.  We'll get her checked out to make sure there's nothing wrong, but she may just be waiting until she knows what to do with communication before just *flaunting* it all the time.

Tyler grows.  We've implemented a plan that I rather like.  If Tyler does his chore (feeding the cats) and eats his dinner (still 50/50, I put lots of veggies in things) he get 15 minute of ipad time.  He doesn't yet realize it, but this isn't a kindness for him.  For us, it gives us a reprieve from having to keep him always entertained, and it serves as something else we can take away if he's being bad.  I feel pretty Machiavellian when I think about it.

He likes to play 'Good guy and Bad guy' with me, but I'm always the bad guy.  I told him I don't like to be the bad guy, and he said I could be the bad guy for a while and then be the good guy later.  So we did that until he realized that he was going to have to be the bad guy, and he didn't like that.  So we talked about how you have to share if you want people to play with you.  You sometimes have to do nice things for other people if you want them to do nice things for you.  He was quiet for a while after that.

Today, He said I could be the good guy and he would be the bad guy.  We switched after a while, but I felt proud about that one.

Also I got sick this weekend, and now the entire household is coughing pretty much all night.  I've spent some nights in the guest bedroom with the monitors just to let Jess sleep.  It's noisy.  But we did have a date night, the two of us.  We went to a board game Cafe.  Think game store, but they will also sell you beer or coffee.  We played Lords of Waterdeep and "A Few Acres of Snow" and Jessie kicked my butt at both of them.  She's vicious.

-N

I don't much like being a Parent

I feel like venting about this for a while, and being as my children are still too young to read, I feel safe putting it up here.  Perhaps some day they'll be trolling through my electronic history and stumble across this.  If so, good job, detectives!  The treasure is buried under Old Man McGillicutty's mansion.

I've given it some thought, and you know what I think I hate the most about parenting?  It's that in far too many circumstances, it's easy to identify the right choice, because it's the one that makes your children less happy.  We speak of childhood, collectively, as this great time of wonder and exploration.  It's not.  I'd be properly chuffed if Tyler exhibited a little more wonder and explored a little more.  Mostly it seems like childhood is screaming when things get difficult or confusing, and always trying to eat foods that are bad for you.  I think that line might not fit in a sonnet as well, though.

I've been waiting for a moment, or even a gradual transition, where I start to really *feel* good about parenting.  Where he does something that melts my heart or makes me proud to be a parent.  I certainly didn't feel it right away, but I was prepared for that.  Dad's sometimes don't feel that connection right away.  But Tyler is coming up on three and a half years old and I still view him as largely a series of chores.  Even playing with him isn't that much fun.  The games we are allowed to play together are pretty restrictive, mostly involving him ordering me around until I get tired of it.  This doesn't surprise me, really.  He's three.  We can't really break out Dominion or Scrabble to pass the time and bond.  But, I dunno, playing with him now just feels like work.  I'll keep doing it because the books have told me it's really good for him, but let's not kid ourselves, I'd rather be doing almost anything else on my own.

I'm afraid, actually afraid, of being generous with him, of letting him have too much of what he wants; I can't keep it up.  Any reward must be transitory, of course, and he's capable of becoming a real monster when you have to turn off the TV or take away the IPad.  So I'm reduced to just being 'proud' of him.  It feels so empty.  I hope that he likes me and that such gestures give him some sort of positive reinforcement, because it feels like the only tool of positive reinforcement I'm allowed to use.  And, of course, I don't want to give him too much dessert because I'm trying to lose weight, and on top of everything else there is to do in a day, saying no to ice cream too often strains my self-control.

Of course, we are only a few years into the whole experiment, and raising a 6 or 10 or 15 year old has to be a completely different animal, but *man*.  People say all the time that they love their kids.  I'd certainly start breaking fingers if anyone tried to take them away, But I look at him now and I mostly just feel...tired.

-N

Telling some Stories

Casey likes to talk now.  It's not babble, which is when your baby starts mimicking the sounds of language.  This is some sort of pre-babble, where she just looks at you right in your face and sticks out her tongue and raspberries you.  Then you raspberry back.  Then she repeats.  This can last up to an hour. Then it transitions to happy shrieking.

Today, I was putting Tyler to sleep.  He grabbed my arm, rolled over and just said.  "Stay, Daddy."  It's been a while since he's done that.

Casey can keep her head up really well now, as well as roll from her front to her back.  We're working on sitting up, but there are two problems.  One is that whenever she gets excited, she likes to straighten out her body.  This means she flings herself onto her back without warning.  The other is that whenever she sits, she kinda leans forward, and forward, and forward, until she's essentially eating her toes.  Then she rolls to her side and then is right back on her back again.  It might be intentional.

I'm running infrequently, but being able to run at all with the kids in the house is a pretty big accomplishment.  Casey sleeps really well, though she can occasionally be hard to put down.  We've taken to cutting off her naps at 4:00, or sometimes earlier.  It means she gets a little loopy in the late afternoon, but she usually perks up when you nibble on her fingers.  Anyway, my 3 mile time is still roughly 45 minutes, which isn't good, but it's faster than when I'm sitting down.  And if the calorie counter is to be believed, it burns a lot of fuel.  (I'm not convinced it is to be fully believed.)

Fran was here last month, and Mom and (eventually) Dad are here this month.  We're going to go to a photo studio and get adorable pictures of everyone taken.  And then we aren't going to share those pictures at all.  We're just going to hoard them and look at them in dark corners where no one else can see.  This is a joke, of course.  Watch out for Christmas presents.

Tyler took some swim classes.  We're not trying to turn him into an Olympian, we just want him to feel comfortable (and safe) around a pool.  He started out pretty nervous, but got better at each class.  By a few times in, he was excited to go.  He's a decent swimmer now, he just keeps popping his head up instead of forward, and when you tell him to jump in the pool, he sits down, turns around, and shuffles in backwards.  Not a bad reflex.

It was my birthday last week!  I got to make a yellow cake.  It was really good, despite the fact that Jessie thought it was dry but who cares about her opinion anyway.  I haven't had any Ice Cream yet.  I'm saving that for later.  I don't eat ice cream as a matter of responsibility now.  Not eating ice cream reminds me that I'm being careful about what I eat.  The last time I had any was during my birthday last year.  I figure once a year is pretty responsible, I'm just going to reserve that splurge for another time.

I still hover around between 202 and 205 on the scale, with 199 always hovering just out of reach.  I'm really hungry, though.

If something big and dramatic happens, I'll try and let you know.

-N

Writing about my Vasectomy

Let's get caught up first. It's summer now, the weather is heating up, but is not yet at the point where everything outside is terrifying. Casey is still a baby, and still doesn't do much, but she smiles a lot more now, especially if you've been away at work for a while and you come back and look her in the face. She likes that. Tyler is still three, so he's mostly a big jerk, but sometimes he runs up when you're leaving day care to make sure to give you one last hug, and that's pretty nice. Also I got a new desktop computer.

Jessie decided, because she is a crazy person, that all of the faucets in the house needed to be changed. I attempted to change one of them, and then we hired a plumber. Which was nice, because they also swapped out all the angle valves in the house, which were all getting old, so that we don't have to worry about that for a while. It took a professional most of a day to get that done. I don't even want to think about how long it would have taken me. Money well spent.

Still working at the same job...starting giving myself injections of medicine and I'm getting used to the needle...got new phones that are very fancy and nice...starting to exercise again though my three mile pace is still really slow...yeah that about catches us up.

Monday I went in to see a Urologist named Dr. Chopp. I picked him because I wanted to get a vasectomy, and if you were going to get a vasectomy, I can't imagine why you would pick anyone else in the world to do it. After a quick consultation I decided to get the procedure done on Thursday. Quick turnaround on these procedures, let me tell you.

They offer you a 'mild sedative' if you have someone to drive you home. I wasn't sure what it was going to be, but it turns out they just gave me a couple of Zanax. An anti-anxiety medicine. If this is ever an option for you, take this medicine. I did, and am very glad.

The physical process of a vasectomy isn't that interesting, or hard to figure out. They go in, make some tiny cuts, stitch things together and you walk out under your own power. That's not the rough part. The rough part is laying down while a man takes sharp instruments to your most instinctively protected regions. It's panic-inducing. It's scary. I was lying there mostly just trying not to think about what was going on, especially when I felt stuff...moving. It didn't hurt bad, just a sting from the numbing agent. I did ask for a little extra after one of the snips felt a little harsh, but that's it. It's just laying there, thinking about what's going on. Trying not to move. Trying not to panic. I ended up humming the spider man theme song to myself a few times. Fortunately the procedure doesn't last long, but it's scary.

Later that night, I just was brushing my teeth and thinking about the surgery a little bit. Just thinking about it, hours later, almost made me throw up. The thinking about it...that's definitely the worst.

Time heals that, though, as well as the physical wounds. I'm definitely 'swaggering' around the house a lot more (sauntering?) and I can't move quickly. Also, doctor instructions were to essentially be a couch potato for the first few days. So there have been a lot of ice packs, and Jess has been doing a lot of parenting. I considered doing it on a Friday, but having somewhere to take Tyler for the first few days has been a real treat. I can take care of Casey a bit. You can do a lot of baby-rearing without getting up from the couch.

I'll definitely need some more time before I really know how I feel about this all the way. My head is quite certain, but my heart is more nervous. Especially as my biological instinct is to protect that area with everything I can. Some distance will put things in better perspective. I just wanted to write this all down so I don't forget about it later. I will want to remember things like this.

-N

Casey Smiles now Sometimes

I'm still not sure what causes it, some mood or experience or thought that she has that flits through her mind and is gone, but sometimes Casey smiles now.  She has little grins sometimes, and then sometimes they are full-on, full-face smiles that just melt the heart.  Especially since I've spent more time just hanging out and looking at her.  I like the quiet time I get with her, she doesn't ask me questions until I'm too tired to answer and then ask why I am using my 'tired voice'.  She just looks at me and is silent, as if daddy is here and that means that nothing can possibly be wrong with the world.

Today Fran goes home, so it's back down to just the four of us.  I'm pleased that I have the freezer well stocked with easy casserole dinners.  Easy to make and easy to clean up.  I keep thinking it will be 'quieter' now, somehow, now that it's just our familiy, but the 3-year-old is still with us, so it can't be *that* much quieter.

I haven't been exercising too much, the idea that I should purposefully make myself *more* tired just seems like a poor idea.

I ordered a new computer this weekend.  A desktop this time, for playing more robust games.  I'm excited by the prospects, of course.

Yesterday Tyler was singing "The Farmer in the Dell"...
T:  The Farmer in the dell, the farmer in the dell.  High ho the mary oh, the farmer in the dell.
Me:  ...
T:  The Farmer takes his life, the farmer takes his life.  High ho the mary oh, the farmer takes his life.
Me:  Tyler, it's "picks his wife".
T:  No, it's "Takes his life."
Me:  Tyler, "Takes his life" means "Kills himself".
T: Oh.
Me:  ...
T: The farmer kills himself, the farmer kills himself.  High ho the Mary oh, the farmer kills himself...

-N

An odd time not to be tired

Current time is...2:30.  Yes, that's in the morning.  It's odd to be sitting here because I'm fairly sure that I'm not tired enough to go to sleep, but it's been that kind of week.  To update from the last blog, Casey and Mom are both doing well.  Casey nurses infrequently, but Jess has been producing plenty of food via pumps, much more than we ever got with Tyler.  Casey's stomach continues to expand, though, so we still end up going through a lot of formula, but whatever gets the most energy into the baby seems to be the best way to go.  We have an appointment next Wednesday to verify her weigh gain, but I'm not worried, kid has been doing great.

Some more odd things about Casey, in list form so I can get to a lot of them.

1) You know how babies are supposed to grab your hands?  Casey doesn't do that much.  Her hands and feet are far to active to be holding onto one thing for too long.

2) Tyler is starting to get more curious about Casey.  He still hasn't wanted to hold her, but he helped me feed her today, and she loves watching him when he plays, which he likes.

3) She's been having rather fitful sleep recently.  There are times when she's dead to the world for hours, and then times when I'm fairly sure she's asleep, but she's constantly making noise.  I have her out here with me in the living room so Jess can sleep better in the bedroom.

4)  She's started looking at things more.  I get to feed her a lot, and she watches my face with the prettiest of eyes.  I hope she likes me sometimes.

5) She's stared to have longer awake periods.  That means we can put her on the play mat and interact with her for a while. She doesn't do too much, but she'll watch things very closely.  It's sweet.

6)  It's still too early to say, but we might have another good sleeper on our hands.  She sleeps for long stretches, and we have to keep waking her up after 3 or even 4 hours in order to feed.  Also, her stomach is getting larger, so she can eat a lot more, which is good for her, I think.  We get to let her sleep more after the first two weeks, so we'll see then how long she wants to rest for without us waking her up for feedings.

Anyway, I don't know what I've done to get myself awake at this time of night, but I'm using the time to study up on old EE stuff.  Might as well be productive if I'm going to have the time to spare.

-N

Yes, more about Casey

Well, it's almost time for us to head home.  We're going through the last few steps of our discharge from the hospital.  Jess has had her final checkup with the OB, and looks to be doing well.  Casey has been seen by the Pediatrician, who gives us high marks for all that we're doing to get breastfeeding as well as keeping her well fed.  Casey's weight has been climbing steadily as we've been using the supplemental forumula, and Jessie's milk has started to come in, which is really cool.

Casey is also the best baby.  Again.  I know, hardly fair.  We've fed her, and she's spent the last, I dunno, nearly an hour just hanging out on the bed with mommy and being entirely goddamn adorable.  She's looking making faces, receiving kisses and nibbles, grabbing hands, and showing off all her cutest baby skills.  No fussing. no nothing.  Just cute faces and and curious eyes .

Nursing continues to get better.  Jessie still winces (and occasionally curses outright) whenever Casey latches, but we've gotten pretty great with the suplemental feeding

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Time warp!

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I started this entry before we came home.  After writing those first few lines, it was time to start packing things up and knocking things off the checklist of stuff you have to do before the hospital will let you go.  It was pretty busy.  I got everything packed up, and then Jess walked, yes, actually walked, out of the hospital to the car waiting outside.  She's doing much better with her recovery the second time around.

We drove home at about 2 on Saturday, and wheeled up to the driveway to see a lovely banner made by nana and grandpa (and presumably by Tyler as well) welcoming us home.  We got into the house and it's been a flurry of activity ever since.

Getting things organized has been the main challenge.  Between all the critical stuff we brought to the hospital and all the things we had to move from downstairs, things have rapidly disorganized.  I've done my best to keep on top of the clutter.

We're managing, though, and Jess is continuing to recover and improve, though we have to often remind her that she has a giant hole in her abdomen, and she needs to just sit down and rest every once in a while.  I'm taking the first shift today so that she can rest.  I'm hoping Casey sleeps a lot.

The real bummer hit today.  Casey has been great at latching, and today, Sunday, for some reason no one can fathom, she just stopped.  She grabs hold, shakes off, grabs hold, shakes off, and doesn't eat.  We're supposed to feed her every three hours, and she straight-up missed one of them because we couldn't get anything in her stomach.  Then she woke up again and same problem.  We've tried everything we know how to do, burping endlessly and trying again and again, but with no success.

For those of you that have never gone through this before, this isn't just 'bad news'.  It's heartbreaking.  The moment you get you baby you are inundated with an endless stream of people desperately trying to convince you, for some reason, that you should breast feed your baby.  I mean of course, you should, right?  Well it turns out that doing so is a massive pain in the ass, and often entirely contradictory.  We got Casey breast feeding just fine, and then her weigh dropped below some invisible line and now we are *required* to do something to get her weight up.  That's right, don't feed your baby formula, no matter what, except unless we tell you to.

And then again with this!  Which is it?  Feed your baby every 3 hours no matter what, or don't use a bottle no matter what.  Go ahead, pick one. Which piece of desperate advice, which of course will determine the *entire* future of your beloved child, will you follow, and which will you break?  Hmm?  Not *will* you doom your baby, but how.

Not to mention the endless insistence on parental behaviors that essentially assumes that mom has no needs of her own.  She doesn't need to sleep, doesn't need to recover.  Her real, physical pain at breast feeding is something to be ignored, or mentioned in passing as 'discomfort', as if suffering through this is immaterial.

Pisses me right the fuck off.

Anyway, Casey's last few feedings have been via bottle, and just barely at that.  Jess has been pumping, and producing precious little milk, but it's something.   And Casey doesn't even seem to want the bottle that much.  We couldn't figure out how to give it to her until Grandpa figured out you could get her to suck on your pinky for a while and then swap the bottle in quickly to get her to eat it.

Not to mention, of course, that Tyler has continued to be a three-year-old during this process.  I had to put him in time out for pretty much all of dinner time today because we made him food that he didn't like, and all he did was complain.  Bad enough Casey doesn't want to eat.  Tyler goes to school tomorrow, hopefully the
resumption of his usual schedule will help him feel a little more comfortable.

Well, tomorrow is monday, and we have a Dr. Appointment with Casey's doctor during which we can hopefully get some answers about what the best course of action is.  And if the best course of action involves just putting more pressure and suffering on Jessie, someone's getting stabbed.

-N