Thursday, May 14, 2009

Further Musings on my Great Parents

Last week I went to a career symposium on women developing careers in science, where I heard about books by local author Linda Babcock- who writes about how women can recognize and learn to take advantage of opportunities around them, and why they may not see such things as quickly as men. I picked up her book "Women Don't Ask," which I am alternately castigating myself with and enjoying. There are many counter examples- women who let the world pass them by because they failed to speak up and ask for a slice, but also some very concrete ways to address this- as a woman, and as an employer and as a society.

This morning (on the bus), I was reading the section about how parents inadvertently shape their children's gender perceptions, and gave some gut wrenching examples- 4 year olds asking their moms if girls could use money too, this sort of thing. Kids don't see their Moms and Dads doing the same things, and assume that this has something to do with gender, and incorporate this into their own identity.

Weirdly, this section didn't really resonate with me- although maybe it would with Noel. Since Dad made regular trips out of town, but the rest of us kept right on with our normal pace of life, I got to see Mom do all the things Dad would do. If I think back, I don't really recall Dad cooking, but I saw Mom fix things, drive cars, make choices for the family (being the leader), spend money- all things that the authors suggest other kids don't, and that may erode a girl's identity.

Many things I can blame on my parents - my hatred of all canned vegetables, the missed opportunity to ever cast a deciding vote in an election, but fortunately, missed career opportunities based on my 'gender identity' is not one of them.

2 comments:

Gordie said...

I know I appreciate the kind words and support for my long suffering wife, but I'm a bit mystified by our responibility for your electoral limitations. What ignoble precedent did we set in the polling booth??

This does go back a bit, you know. Both your parents were raised with moms who took a role outside the household, made visible and concrete connections with their education when that was a very significant challenge, not at all the norm for their generation. They certainly made the path more obvious for us and are a real credit to the pre-revolutionary/liberation movement our our youth. We need to interogate Nana about her secret role in the Manhattan Project while working undercover at the University of Washington's engineering dept. I'm sure there's a screenplay there somewhere....

Dad

Sandlin said...

Electoral votes in Alaska don't swing the nation, Dad. Woe is me.

I knew that Papa was a communist spy, but the Manhattan Project is new to me...