Best Possible Outcome

Let me set the stage: Weeks of preparation go into this day, and everything is assembled just so, from the notepad and pen to the papers that were left behind. This is a meditation on readiness. People start filing in slow at first. Eventually the steady flow increases until every chair is full, and they keep coming. More chairs are packed in, but they keep coming. It is standing room only in here, and they are standing 3 deep out the door. And they are all restlessly waiting, all carefully watching me.

It's hard not to be nervous- of course I know what I am talking about, I might be the only person in the world that REALLY knows what I am talking about. But I want to be able to convey that I DO know what I am talking about with authority. And some 100 pairs of eyes dispassionately watching can be a lot to take on- but I start talking. Dr. Boss told me in my first talk to memorize your first slide- if you can get through it unjangled, you can get on a roll. And it's true. I settled in to my slides, I was quite pleased with how it all came together. The audience seemed receptive. I took a few pauses to highlight some things I was really excited about, and I saw smiles, I even got a few laughs. At then end, there were lots of thoughtful questions, and I tried to answer them as thoughtfully as possible, which lead to other good questions. In my mind, the mark of a good seminar is the quality of questions asked.

But this wasn't really what I was nervous about. I have spoken about things I know much less about in front of more people. The seminar needed to go well- making me seem smart, experienced and talented- because immediately following was my committee meeting. My committee is made of some really great scientists, and though I chose them because they like me and think I'm smart, the nature of the process is still very subjective. Very.

Fortunately, Dr. Boss totally stepped up as my advocate. He said "Sandlin has done a lot of work, and is on track to publish 2 papers in the next year." Everyone agreed that this sounded reasonable, and had no major objections to the track, and then.... this is the best part... they signed my forms for Admission to Candidacy. This is one of the major hurdles that can potentially set back graduation by a long bit- if the papers hadn't been signed today, it might have languished another YEAR. What it really means is that we have all agreed that I will be done before the summer of 2011- which is on track to move on to a new position in the Fall of 2011, as I had hoped and dreamed. This also means I've picked a title, and I know that my committee is pretty impressed with my work- which makes the next step less daunting.