Holiday beginnings

So we picked up Kelso a day early from the airport for reasons that were bittersweet as I will describe a bit later. We transitioned straight to the Broiler to engage a halibut burger which has become the signature moment for a return to Alaska for our youngest. By all accounts her finals went well, her trip through the valley of the shadow of snow was uneventful if a bit slow, and she looked just fine to us who haven't seen her for almost 3 whole weeks!!

She came home a day early on a parent sponsored ticket change because we all wanted her to be here for a less joyous event. Last week a group of 5 boys from kelsey's teen-ACTS/youth group got together in a family basement when no-one was home. They got into a locked gun cabinet and through a horrifying series of misjudgements and accidents, fired one of the guns, killing one and wounding another critically. The funeral is today. These were not street punks, these were goofy, awkward, sweet, sincere kids that would have been at home around my dinner table just a few years ago. We know the families. We recognize the kids. What an awful mess. I've been remembering them as we all bubble up toward the much anticipated break at work. I've tried rather clumsily to mention to at least Kelsey how this event puts such a different perspective on this holiday season for me. I know that, for these families, this and many other Christmases will never be the same. It causes so many imagined parenting challenges to just fade to meaninglessness. I have 3 healthy, beautiful, accomplished children, abroad in the world, making me proud, finding their way. God in Heaven, who cares about their bedroom cleaning habits? Of course, it makes me want to find a way to bring them all home and squeeze life into and out of them. But that's not really what matters to a good parent. Its letting them find their own way, sharing, supporting but ultimately biting a lip, sitting on hands, allowing oneself to be amazed by how wonderful they become on their own. So, yes, I am missing Sandlin who's at home doing original research, embracing a loving husband, and believing she misses us even more than we do her. Little does she know. After all, its her mother-in-law's turn and we can be fair, no matter how much we long to make it our own. And we will surrender the Sooby keys and await text messages and wandering cell calls even from our own home bound youngest with absolute delight. We will contemplate the wonders of snow in Texas and hold on for a substantial gathering of all we love in a few more days which will seem just that much more precious to me.

The happiest of Holidays to us all.

Gordie