I'm feeling quite mixed up these days. Some of this is because my boss refuses to admit defeat (experimentally), and partly because I am such a contrarian that I've become an utter-defeatist in spite of him. Some of it is because I realize we will be leaving Pittsburgh soon, and while I am so ready to leave, there are a lot of things I will miss about it. We've been recruiting grad students this weekend, which forced me to remember all the reasons I chose to come here, and all the reasons I think it is cool here. And I'm also feeling acutely worried that we actually won't be leaving soon, I'll just be unemployed for a while.
Job hunting has quickly become my primary hobby, and I've also become incredibly unfocused. I'd rather have a mediocre job than not, which means I keep digging up jobs that are tangentially related to what I want to do, or think I could get hired to do. And from there I can imagine being plenty happy, living in Redmond being a biotech sales associate, even though that is completely unrelated to what I've been thinking my goals have been. While I feel very strongly that science needs better advocates in the policy arena, I'm not very confident that I can be successful at that (or be taken seriously during my transition). It's hard to keep my prioties in order- is it more important to live out west than the have the perfect policy job? Apparently, since I can't make myself look at jobs in WA DC. Then is it more important to stay in policy than just be paid well? And Matt is confident that he can find a job anywhere I can, bless his flexibility, but this means I get to (have to?) set all the limits. Where do we go? What would I be willing to do there? It is hard to get to the business of enjoying what may be our final months in Pittsburgh when I feel guilty for every hour of leisure I am not combing job listings or polishing cover letters.
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I am intrigued by your comment about dreaming of a "policy job" but not wanting to look at D.C. jobs. That's either reflection on the crummy openings at the intern/beginner level of policy or a real wake-up call about what you think a policy job would entail and where it would be. D.C. is the fountain of research money for the whole US intellectual community. That's where direction, focus, and money start in the US. If you can't see yourself lobbying for a cause, you really have to ask yourself how you'll be involved. Mom says that you've already answered your own question by looking anywhere doing anything in the NW and ignoring DC. I hope you can find a challenge that rewards, stimulates, and maybe gives you new direction. I thought Yokohama sounded cool, so what do I know....
No, the job opportunities in DC are amazing, $100,000 jobs abound. It's just much more important to me to be on the other side of the country now. I am done with living in the city, and so far from all my family. Although it's hard for me to tell if that's just because I haven't been home in 2 years, and I think this city can feel crowded. I'm just looking for some kind of work that agrees with my values.
Which is kinda the bummer about Yokohama too, but maybe when I'm eligible for that, I'll be more excited to move.
I'm a little hesitant to chime in, because I don't feel I managed these trade-offs particularly well when I was your age, Sandlin.
But in the off-chance that the lessons I drew from my experience might help you, here is my .02 cents.
Journalism is much like science policy, in that you Dad is right, the center of the universe is in WA DC (or NY or LA, in media world.)
But I don't think the choice is completely binary, black-or-white. I think it's healthy to be conscious of the inner clues you report (I don't want to live in DC)and the tension therein (I really want a science policy job.)
DC may be the best place to pursue science policy, but it's not the only place. Not to be too pushy, but Seattle is emerging as a critical location for global health activism and policy work, led of course by the Gates Foundation. There are other organizations that work in these areas (google PATH in Seattle, fr example) and the biz community is talking up global health as economic development strategy.
If you are clear that you have two competing priorities, I don't think it's necessary to extinguish
one to focus only on the other. Perhaps you could work on both for a while . . maybe some DC organization has a policy gig that could be done remotely? Maybe the UW or the U of O has a grant from some policy research? Or maybe they have an opening that might grow into policy or advocacy work?
Anyway, like your Dad, I hope you find just the right combination. Thanks to Matt for being open to so many possibilities.
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