Writing about my Vasectomy

Let's get caught up first. It's summer now, the weather is heating up, but is not yet at the point where everything outside is terrifying. Casey is still a baby, and still doesn't do much, but she smiles a lot more now, especially if you've been away at work for a while and you come back and look her in the face. She likes that. Tyler is still three, so he's mostly a big jerk, but sometimes he runs up when you're leaving day care to make sure to give you one last hug, and that's pretty nice. Also I got a new desktop computer.

Jessie decided, because she is a crazy person, that all of the faucets in the house needed to be changed. I attempted to change one of them, and then we hired a plumber. Which was nice, because they also swapped out all the angle valves in the house, which were all getting old, so that we don't have to worry about that for a while. It took a professional most of a day to get that done. I don't even want to think about how long it would have taken me. Money well spent.

Still working at the same job...starting giving myself injections of medicine and I'm getting used to the needle...got new phones that are very fancy and nice...starting to exercise again though my three mile pace is still really slow...yeah that about catches us up.

Monday I went in to see a Urologist named Dr. Chopp. I picked him because I wanted to get a vasectomy, and if you were going to get a vasectomy, I can't imagine why you would pick anyone else in the world to do it. After a quick consultation I decided to get the procedure done on Thursday. Quick turnaround on these procedures, let me tell you.

They offer you a 'mild sedative' if you have someone to drive you home. I wasn't sure what it was going to be, but it turns out they just gave me a couple of Zanax. An anti-anxiety medicine. If this is ever an option for you, take this medicine. I did, and am very glad.

The physical process of a vasectomy isn't that interesting, or hard to figure out. They go in, make some tiny cuts, stitch things together and you walk out under your own power. That's not the rough part. The rough part is laying down while a man takes sharp instruments to your most instinctively protected regions. It's panic-inducing. It's scary. I was lying there mostly just trying not to think about what was going on, especially when I felt stuff...moving. It didn't hurt bad, just a sting from the numbing agent. I did ask for a little extra after one of the snips felt a little harsh, but that's it. It's just laying there, thinking about what's going on. Trying not to move. Trying not to panic. I ended up humming the spider man theme song to myself a few times. Fortunately the procedure doesn't last long, but it's scary.

Later that night, I just was brushing my teeth and thinking about the surgery a little bit. Just thinking about it, hours later, almost made me throw up. The thinking about it...that's definitely the worst.

Time heals that, though, as well as the physical wounds. I'm definitely 'swaggering' around the house a lot more (sauntering?) and I can't move quickly. Also, doctor instructions were to essentially be a couch potato for the first few days. So there have been a lot of ice packs, and Jess has been doing a lot of parenting. I considered doing it on a Friday, but having somewhere to take Tyler for the first few days has been a real treat. I can take care of Casey a bit. You can do a lot of baby-rearing without getting up from the couch.

I'll definitely need some more time before I really know how I feel about this all the way. My head is quite certain, but my heart is more nervous. Especially as my biological instinct is to protect that area with everything I can. Some distance will put things in better perspective. I just wanted to write this all down so I don't forget about it later. I will want to remember things like this.

-N