Yes, more about Casey

Well, it's almost time for us to head home.  We're going through the last few steps of our discharge from the hospital.  Jess has had her final checkup with the OB, and looks to be doing well.  Casey has been seen by the Pediatrician, who gives us high marks for all that we're doing to get breastfeeding as well as keeping her well fed.  Casey's weight has been climbing steadily as we've been using the supplemental forumula, and Jessie's milk has started to come in, which is really cool.

Casey is also the best baby.  Again.  I know, hardly fair.  We've fed her, and she's spent the last, I dunno, nearly an hour just hanging out on the bed with mommy and being entirely goddamn adorable.  She's looking making faces, receiving kisses and nibbles, grabbing hands, and showing off all her cutest baby skills.  No fussing. no nothing.  Just cute faces and and curious eyes .

Nursing continues to get better.  Jessie still winces (and occasionally curses outright) whenever Casey latches, but we've gotten pretty great with the suplemental feeding

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Time warp!

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I started this entry before we came home.  After writing those first few lines, it was time to start packing things up and knocking things off the checklist of stuff you have to do before the hospital will let you go.  It was pretty busy.  I got everything packed up, and then Jess walked, yes, actually walked, out of the hospital to the car waiting outside.  She's doing much better with her recovery the second time around.

We drove home at about 2 on Saturday, and wheeled up to the driveway to see a lovely banner made by nana and grandpa (and presumably by Tyler as well) welcoming us home.  We got into the house and it's been a flurry of activity ever since.

Getting things organized has been the main challenge.  Between all the critical stuff we brought to the hospital and all the things we had to move from downstairs, things have rapidly disorganized.  I've done my best to keep on top of the clutter.

We're managing, though, and Jess is continuing to recover and improve, though we have to often remind her that she has a giant hole in her abdomen, and she needs to just sit down and rest every once in a while.  I'm taking the first shift today so that she can rest.  I'm hoping Casey sleeps a lot.

The real bummer hit today.  Casey has been great at latching, and today, Sunday, for some reason no one can fathom, she just stopped.  She grabs hold, shakes off, grabs hold, shakes off, and doesn't eat.  We're supposed to feed her every three hours, and she straight-up missed one of them because we couldn't get anything in her stomach.  Then she woke up again and same problem.  We've tried everything we know how to do, burping endlessly and trying again and again, but with no success.

For those of you that have never gone through this before, this isn't just 'bad news'.  It's heartbreaking.  The moment you get you baby you are inundated with an endless stream of people desperately trying to convince you, for some reason, that you should breast feed your baby.  I mean of course, you should, right?  Well it turns out that doing so is a massive pain in the ass, and often entirely contradictory.  We got Casey breast feeding just fine, and then her weigh dropped below some invisible line and now we are *required* to do something to get her weight up.  That's right, don't feed your baby formula, no matter what, except unless we tell you to.

And then again with this!  Which is it?  Feed your baby every 3 hours no matter what, or don't use a bottle no matter what.  Go ahead, pick one. Which piece of desperate advice, which of course will determine the *entire* future of your beloved child, will you follow, and which will you break?  Hmm?  Not *will* you doom your baby, but how.

Not to mention the endless insistence on parental behaviors that essentially assumes that mom has no needs of her own.  She doesn't need to sleep, doesn't need to recover.  Her real, physical pain at breast feeding is something to be ignored, or mentioned in passing as 'discomfort', as if suffering through this is immaterial.

Pisses me right the fuck off.

Anyway, Casey's last few feedings have been via bottle, and just barely at that.  Jess has been pumping, and producing precious little milk, but it's something.   And Casey doesn't even seem to want the bottle that much.  We couldn't figure out how to give it to her until Grandpa figured out you could get her to suck on your pinky for a while and then swap the bottle in quickly to get her to eat it.

Not to mention, of course, that Tyler has continued to be a three-year-old during this process.  I had to put him in time out for pretty much all of dinner time today because we made him food that he didn't like, and all he did was complain.  Bad enough Casey doesn't want to eat.  Tyler goes to school tomorrow, hopefully the
resumption of his usual schedule will help him feel a little more comfortable.

Well, tomorrow is monday, and we have a Dr. Appointment with Casey's doctor during which we can hopefully get some answers about what the best course of action is.  And if the best course of action involves just putting more pressure and suffering on Jessie, someone's getting stabbed.

-N