Rolling Along

Hey, all,

So those of you paying attention may want to know how the derby game went. Well, I’m here to say it went fine. We had Jessie’s sister and our two nephews there to watch and it all went pretty great. Jessie has improved a lot, I mean A LOT since her last game. She was railing people and hitting girls and made some impressive plays here and there. She also makes a great pivot, that’s where you skate in front and control the pace of the pack. Jess remains injury-free, though, and that’s what counts for me.

I, unfortunately, didn’t get to see the whole game because we had to take the boys home and put them to bed, but there were lots of people there from work, and lots of fun was had by all. Jess was even playing sick, having a stuffy head from some bug she picked up before the boys came over. But she toughed it through and did well. So yay for that. Her team lost, unfortunately, but she had a good time and skated well.

I’ll write more about the weekend with the nephews later, but for now, I’ll close out with this bio I wrote for Jesta Menace. I think I did a pretty good job.

Jesta Menace was a model student at the Sacred Heart School for Girls. Top of her class, friends of both jocks and nerds, and constantly volunteering her time to feed the homeless, often with her own lunch money. She started the “Fuzzy Kitten Rescue and Toddler Tutoring” club her sophmore year in high school and was voted “Least Likely to Ever Get in a Fight With Anyone” three years in a row. Her friends and family had high hopes for her, but all of that changed when she started expanding her horizons into sports.

Jesta Menace has wreaked havoc through more sports teams than she can remember. She tried water polo, but was kicked off the team after trying to drown the opposing coach in the kiddie pool during an away game. She was banned from the hockey team after setting new records for both time in penalty box and number of sticks broken over opponent’s heads. She refused to try any ‘traditional’ sports on the insistence that “there aren’t enough chances to make the other ***** bleed.”

Fortunately, she found roller derby. As a newly-minted member of the Holly Rollers, Jesta Menace has finally found a way to vent all her suppressed rage. Her friends say she’s much more even tempered now, though she will occasionally hip-check strangers into trash cans in the hallway. She’s quick to make friends and hardly ever gets arrested any more. Just don’t get on her bad side.

Which side is that? Her Rail Side.

-N