Still in Madison this morning, which has been a really interesting, stimulating experience. Up until now I was floating in a cloud of bliss that my project was foresighted enough to look for viral inhibitors before they got so hot. See, this winter, a group showed that a very closely related virus causes very aggressive cancer. This has been a major highlight of the meeting. I had been confident that while drug discovery would get popular, we had a head start.
This morning I got up early for a talk from Yale where Dr. BigMoney showed that they have a high through-put screen, and some inhibitors, and that their system for testing against the whole family of viruses was established. Just yesterday I was outlining the paper I might publish in a few years where we described out screen, show our drugs and show how nicely they work on other members of the family. I am still trying to process how bad this is- our screen is faster and more specific, but required a lot more follow-up experiments = time. Of course we won't find the same drugs, but in this field you just have to be first. My other adviser Dr. Rockstar who is here with me says I just need to work faster- people were bound to be interested in this now that it is so fundable.
We'll see what my boss says, but I am feeling very shaken. Is their screen better? Can my plan get better? How far along are they? How much am I willing to sacrifice to catch up? Is it too late??
Today is the last day of the conference, and the ball. I'll be back in Pittsburgh Sunday night, which may results in some delayed phone calls home. I'll give a better description of ths conference when I've had some time for reflection.
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4 comments:
I am sure it is upsetting to seem like your work is not going to be important enough. But I remember the goals you had set for yourself when you talked about why you wanted to do research. I believe the phrase "add to the body of knowledge" about an important disease or process was what you wanted to contribute as a world citizen. Maybe what you are working on for your thesis will be tweaked a bit but until all disease is wiped out there will be plenty to do. And besides I know how wonderful and dedicated you are.
Love you,
Mom
Well, not trying to be pollyanna but there will always be a difference between being first and being best (some might say that's a perfect description of Bill Gates/micrsoft..). What were you trying to find that was totally original? If you're finding different (better??) drugs, if your screen is faster, why doesn't that have some very substantial appeal??
Truly we don't know that much about what you're doing but it doesn't seem impossible that your work can be very important, too. Can you work with Dr. BigBucks? You hang with Minnesota and the step-children labs, why not touch with a collegue there?? I know there is a lot of intellectual competition to make first discoveries but there is a lot of profound success in fleshing out an idea to its fullest. Are you really thinking your stuff is going to be, what, irrelavent? Duplicative/Derivative or something? I suppose you need advice from smarter people than us about whether this changes the future of your work but we will always be proud of what you do.
As a very important member of the engineering community, let me say I have nothing to add to this discussion. I always get the sense that I just *have* to be duplicating the work of someone else somewhere, but in the world of Defense Contracting, it doesn't really matter as long as they pay you money.
Also, you got to go to a *ball*? How cool! Were there princesses?
-N
well, Dr. Rockstar's favorite student (who has a lab of his own) doesn't think I should be worried- but in the world of drugs it is about the pipeline. Yours has to get there first to get the funding thrown behind it to go somewhere. There is some philosophy about 'keeping the pipeline full' and all, and I have yet to see what Dr. Boss says, but I still have this ominous feeling.
And no, I don't think Dr. BigBucks wants to collaborate, he said if he could remember my name, he might email me. And that was when he wanted me to send him MY drugs. Sigh.
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