Mom and Dad's Wedding Announcement

In going through Nana's momentos, I found this. I am always amazing by what she still kept. She and I sat together while she ruthlessly parsed out old photos, giving them to children and nieces or nephews, or just straight to the bin. Before she moved to Bothell, she was feeling particularly unsentimental about objects, but this gem she kept. Or at least, she allowed me to "hold on to it for her" at my house.

Preecs-Warner Wed

Buried in other albums are choice photos from the wedding itself, including the remarkable pink tuxedo. I just think it's lovely that this treasured clipping still exists. Especially given Nana's fondness for newspaper clippings.

Eulogy I read for Nana 8/16

For those of you I haven’t met yet, Martha was my Nana. Nana was a role model in so many things: being a loving wife, mom, grandmother and great-grandmother, being an engaged political citizen and community member, aging gracefully, staying open minded and always learning. I learned a lot from her life and her stories. But perhaps the most important thing I’ve tried to learn from her is how to really listen to people with love. 

When I was in college, I would visit her and Papa, and they were so excited to listen to my dreams and plans. And what I noticed is that she was always listening in a way that reflected the best in me. I told her about my ambitions to study science, and work to discover new drug treatments- she told anyone who would listen I was going to cure Alzheimer’s Disease. When my husband Matt got a job at PACCAR doing sustaining engineering, she told her friends he was making a greener truck. Now, of course, she is my grandmother- it makes sense that she would hold me in high esteem. But since I have been able to spend time with her as an adult, I’ve realized :This is how she listened to everyone.

I am so fortunate that when Matt and I moved back to Washington from Pittsburgh, she decided to move closer to us. It was a huge adjustment for her, but she took it on with an enthusiasm for change that it uncommon for people her age- or frankly people my age. So, thank you to the friends in Spokane who let her leave, and thank you to her friends in Bothell for helping her to never regret the decision to move.

 

I was impressed by how considerate she was of new friends- she used to carry a little notepad to write down people’s names as she met them so she wouldn’t do them the injustice of forgetting their names. And she didn’t limit her circles. When she realized how many of the nursing staff at the Chateau were immigrants, she got a map, and would ask each of them to point out where they were from so she could really learn about them and their histories. Many of the servers in the Chateau dining room are young, and she gladly nourished their ambitions for school and careers and travel. Because she always made time, and paid attention to people in a really personal, compassionate way, she brought out the most patient, considerate side in others.

Since Martha’s passing, I have heard from so many people how sorely she will be missed. Thank you all for recounting your stories of how kind and generous Nana was with her time and attention. As you all know, She made friends quickly. She delighted to share and celebrate your fantastic stories with me-athletes who completed amazing feats swimming huge distances in open water, artists who were perfecting a craft shaped by years of practice and the thrill of travel, and even one guy single handedly restoring an amphibious landing craft in Portland Oregon. When Nana describes her friends to me, they always sound young, vital and full of a joy for life, which is something she just brought out in people. 

She just had a way of warmly acknowledging everyone to make them feel special.

When I defended my doctorate, she proudly traveled to Pittsburgh to listen to my seminar and defense. At the after party, she pulled out her camera and took pictures of every single person who came to wish me well- not just the faculty and my close friends, but the post-docs, the undergraduates and the techs. There were probably 100 people there. She was thrilled to celebrate with all these people who must have played an important role in my education; she knew they must be special because they turned out to support me. She chatted with every single person at the party, and for weeks afterwards, people told me how charming my grandmother the photographer was. 

A few years ago, we took a trip to Winthrop with Nana and my mother-in-law Betty. There were people who looked like me and my husband, who were returning from bike rides or hikes, people who looked like Betty or even Nana, who were perhaps gallery shopping or RVing.  Nana wanted a picture of us happily enjoying lunch at a brewery, so of all the available patrons, she of course turned to the table of surly-looking, leatherclad bikers pounding beers at the table next to us, and asks them for a photo. One of these tough guys hops up with a “Yes ma’am,” very happy to oblige. I was already bemused with the interaction, then she sincerely asks him about his shirt- he is wearing a Caribbean beer shirt, with bright colors and scantily clad ladies. And Surly McBikerGang lights up and tells her about the joy of lazing on the beach and partying in Belize. And she of course has heard such wonderful things about Central America from her dear friend who has a tree house in Costa Rica… the way they hit it off, I thought he was going to buy her a beer. But that was Nana: she always saw the best in people- these weren’t thug bikers, these were a few guys enjoying each other’s company just like us, and she brought out the best in people just by treating them like they truly are treasures. 

I hope to spend the rest of my life working to be as warm and loving to every human I encounter as she showed me how to be. To Nana, everyone was special, and everyone was worthy of her time and attention.  She will be sorely missed, and fondly remembered by everyone who had the great pleasure of knowing her.

Forever GreatNana

This morning, the lights dimmed for the last time for our beloved Mom, Nana, Gramma, Auntie, and friend. She was blessed by the presence and support of her niece and fellow Christian Scientist, RayAnne who was with her at the end reading her entries from Science and Health. It was quiet and peaceful, consistent with her life.

We remember her as all the vessel of all the admirable qualities the human spirit can express: kindness, strength, compassion, courage and on and on. At 66 years old, I still wanted to impress her, make her proud, be a good son to such an amazing mother.

She survived the Depression, WWII, teenage boys, 30 years of retirement, 65 years of marriage, 5 years of widowhood, and a lifetime of friendships. 94 years covers a lot of human history and family life. She never seemed to let any of it defeat her for very long. A bright outlook, a generous spirit, and determination to see good in everything and everyone around her seemed to carry her through.

In her last years here at Chateau Bothell, she continued her relentless goodwill, making friends, doing good works, finding activities to engage her active mind. We are spending time in her little nest here extracting the library books and literature that she continued to absorb in her final days. Her email account is crowded with appeals from a host of liberal, compassionate causes that she believed in and supported. Apparently, the Democratic Party has lost a real pillar.

I find it a bit ironic that the first sign that she really was slowing down was when she took a header into the sidewalk on Father's Day while trying to WALK to church. That's a quarter mile up and down hills and, in retrospect, a real stress test. Her last "public" event was when she came to Cousin Kate's house two weeks ago for a family dinner. I was oblivious to her situation because she really wasn't letting it show. More sensitive table mates got us to recognize that she was struggling. That was the first ER visit that started on the path to this day. Mom allowed us to impose enough "traditional" medicine to recognize the course of events as we saw them, then we returned to her home with RayAnne's guidance and gracious support.

She is at peace. Someday, we will be too. Into His Loving Arms, we commend her spirit.