Short sweet nothings

Another round of vignettes from our life.

The third of 4 weddings was over the weekend. We got to show up early, help with the set-up and generally goof off with the groom's part of the wedding party. It was a beautiful spot in the woodsy part of Skagit county, and I got to catch up with some old friends from high school.

The fourth wedding will be next weekend in Toronto. Matt won't be joining me (see last entry on Death Valley).

* * *

We have an apple tree.
Like all the things in our garden, it must learn to thrive with a steady pace of benign neglect. It was pruned last year, and had precious little attention since then.
Wednesday night, we pulled down 60 pounds of apples. From the fruit left on the tree, I expect another 60 lbs.
Matt wants to press and ferment these. I would be happy to make a lot of applesauce. We will see what gets accomplished before we both leave town again.

* * *

I defended my PhD more than 3 years ago. Pretty cool right? Every so often, I will ask myself if I miss benchwork, and if I should go back and do a post-doc. This is important, because many types of funding for postdocs are only available for 5 years after defense. I still don't feel like going back to the bench, but I was reminded on another type of fellowship that is only available for 5 years after defense. It's a science policy fellowship. My application is due at the end of the month.

* * *
My work has gotten "busy." To help my boss during a course of medical leave, I was assigned to project manage a small contract to create educational simulations. Fortunately for her, my boss has had much more energy and enthusiasm for her work than anyone has predicated. As a result, but job is not busy with decision making and leadership, but composing and waiting for replies to emails that need to be coordinated. This is less glamorous than I expected.

* * *

I've been lifting weights some this summer. I have a set of hobbyist weights that Shaoshu gave me when he moved. My big lifts (squats, deadlift, bench press) are just moving into the range of weight that would allow me to put weight on the 45 lb Olympic weight bar at a normal gym.
That's kinda cool.

Mosaic of Happenings

A few short notes of no special relevance, in no particular order:

I rode my bike to work on Friday.
Matt rides his bike in every day- the 7 mile trip takes him 20-25 min each way.
My 9+ mile trip took about an hour.
My friend Adam drove me home, so we could begin our weekend adventures. Next time, tomorrow, I will be driving my bike past some of the scary/trafficy part of the ride, and still probably riding 6ish miles, in 45 min or so. But I have to ride home, too.

* * *

I've been running "a lot"* lately. I bought some new trail running shoes, since my knees report my old ones were wearing out. The first pair I bought were super light weight, looked like a unicorn puked them up (vibrant reds, purples and yellows all swirled together), and made my toes fall asleep when I ran. I traded them in for a blue pair that look like keds skate shoes. The new ones meet the approval of both my knees and toes. And ankles.

*I can claim to be running a lot based on my current Strava standings. Strava is an app that tracks your mileage, records, etc, and lets you virtually race others. I've joined a "how many miles can you run this month?" challenge every month this summer, and I've been in the  top half every time. That's right- I run more than some people!

* * *

This year we were invited to 4 weddings, 3 of them in August.
One of Matt's old roommates got married a couple weekends ago. They found a beautiful castle/B&B in Tacoma to get married in. They rented out the whole B&B for thier family, but most of the family decided to make the drive home after, so we got to stay in the castle over night.
Castle weddings are awesome.
Also, macaroons are a legit substitute for wedding cake, especially (but not only) if you are marrying a French person.

* * *

This weekend, we did a hike to Mt Shuksan and Lake Ann.The trail was storybook perfect, with long meandering creeks that had wide, flat, not-slippery stones at easy points across them, and switch backs that gently climbed us the ~2,000 feet over a ridge.
The appeal of Mt Shuksan is that there are glaciers there. I haven't seen a lot of glaciers not in Alaska. Mt Shuksan has "hanging glaciers." We tried to guess how a hanging glacier was different, and I wondered why one mountain would have more than one glacier.
The actual view looked like some bits of a big glacier were stuck on the side of this mountain- so little compared to glacier attached to ice fields.
Still totally worth the hike.

We also saw some pika.

* * *

For Labor Day weekend, I am going to a wedding in Toronto, and Matt is going to spend two weeks in Death Valley doing "summer testing" of a truck. I assume this means they stress test the truck- driving it hot and hard in the worst possible climate to see if they can kill it. This seems like the weirdest possible way to explore Death Valley, but I'm really excited for Matt to go on this trip.

I'm also excited for when he comes back- we might actually spend a weekend in our own house.
Or we might go camping. With mountain bikes.
I'm excited for both options.

I need a new attitude

It's getting to be that time in the job cycle when I need to look for a new job. The current contract ends in December with no chance of renewal and it is time to move on. I like my current job and my current team, but I'm ready to try something more challenging (honestly, my work seems to have vast periods of awkward boredness to contend with).

But.... every time I sit down to do something job hunting related- update my resume, seek openings, put in applications- I find myself feeling really acutely like I want to cry. And crawl into bed forever. And cry some more. I'm not sure what it is exactly- I actually think it might be a poor habit from the YEAR I spent looking after graduation. But every time, I spend 20 minutes on LinkedIn, open a bunch of links that seem somewhat promising and then basically talk myself out of every single one of them. Ugh, that commute would be terrible. I couldn't stand to work on a sales team. That product is too mind numbingly boring to work with. There feels like there is no good opportunity for me and I feel hopeless. And then I either lose my momentum to any number of internet distractions, or I push through until I can't go any further without a hug.

Which is weird, because I'm actually fairly optimistic about my next job hunt. I've got some good experience and some interesting work to show, so I think I am well poised to find myself something more tailored to my interests. When I talk about what I am looking for, or go meet people for the purpose of talking about a job, I feel good. I have a story to tell. I know where I am headed.

And then I get home to my computer and it is all exsistential doubt.

So I'm thinking I need some new, more uplifting job hunting strategies. Any thoughts?